Not Really My Assignment
by Minnet
Summary: Luxord and Xigbar are on an assignment. Then Demyx and Saïx are sent to find them, because Saïx is capable and Demyx needs experience. Not yaoi. Rated for language and some perverse themes. Epilogue is done.
1. It Sounds Like Mawluxia

A semi-sequel to _Missing Cards, _except it's not really a sequel. It just contains stuff or references to and from my first story.

Yes, another Luxord fic. Why am I writing another? Well, duh, because Luxord is freaking pimp. Well, not really; unless you're reading _Those Lacking Spines, _because he _is _a pimp in **that **(for two chapters). I encourage you to go read it, for it is nummy-rific. Actually, there are going to be three other main characters (just not as main as Luxord) in this, too: Xigbar, Demyx, and Saïx. Ya know why? Because I think they'd be fun to write about; all four of them. And their personalities clash, sort of, so it should be interesting to write. Yep.

I **don't **own _Kingdom Hearts, _though, I wish I did. There will out of characterness, most likely? And, this is not a yaoi. Sorry to yaoi fans that might read this.

And this may not start out as silly as _Missing Cards, _or even **be **as funny as it. I'm not sure. I'll just have to get writing and see what happens.

* * *

Luxord sat at his desk. It had been three weeks, six days, seventeen hours, forty-seven minutes, and eighteen seconds since he had gotten his cawds back. That's right, he'd been keeping track, because his element is time. What now? Umm… anyways. Yes, it'd been that long. Zexion had avoided him since. He had currently taken up moping around the kitchen and library, drinking caffeinated drinks and reading depressing stories, like _Sleeping Beauty._ Lexaeus and he didn't speak much anymore, but there's no hard feelings, since it was Zexion's idea, 'cause he's a conniving little bastard.

The Gambler of Fate had been staring at a snow globe on his desk for thirty-eight minutes and fifth-two seconds. Yes, he was really bored of the castle. Even going down the canyon, across the valley, and through the forest of evil, evil trees to hang out at the Quikki Mart had gotten boring. But, the snow globe (yes, the snow globe) offered an escape for him. Inside was a snow scene (obviously, it _was _a snow globe). He liked to imagine he was there. Luxord liked snow, but he hadn't gotten any assignments lately; chances to escape from the castle.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

He continued to stare at the snow globe. "I hate this place. Well, I hate it as much as a Nobody _can _hate something, which isn't very much, but still. I'm bored." Luxord went on. He was even too bored to be a gentleman. He decided after a few minutes more of staring and brooding, that he'd walk around the castle and find someone to 'hang out' with. Even though that wasn't really his thing. Unlike in the last story, he teleported to the lobby and walked down some random hallways. At the end of one hallway he saw two girls, twins by the look of them. They matched in every aspect, from hair to clothing, they were basically the same. Ya know, except for them being two different people and all. Luxord just stared at them for a few seconds.

"Come play with us Luxord," they spoke in unison. "Come play with us forever… and ever… and ever." Everybody's favorite Brit just shook his head and walked away. After a few minutes of aimlessly walking through the halls on the first floor, he decided to go to the greenhouse. Maybe Marluxia needed help with his flowers. Not that he really liked Number XI or anything, he was just bored and needed something to do. Plus, he was a gentleman. He made his way there and walked in.

The Organization (or, Marluxia's) greenhouse, wasn't actually a greenhouse at all. It was more of a large backyard indoors. This area of the building was about four acres in area. Yes, Castle Oblivion is very, very large. Especially on the first floor. On either side of the entrance was a thick holly tree (like the doors to Moria in _The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring_!) and the grass started where the marble floor ended, with a stone pathway winding around the garden. At the back of the 'greenhouse' was a small area devoted to maple trees; there were patches of flowerrs here and there, and a koi pond in the far right corner in front of the trees, with a stream flowing throughout the greenhouse. At one point, a bridge crossed over the stream where it intersected with the path. There were bushes along the edges. Marluxia loved the place; Luxord didn't really care for it, but he recognized that it was aesthetically pleasing and well kept. He looked around for Marluxia and saw him by the pond, feeding the koi.

"Marluxia."

The pinky-haired (yes, pinky-haired) man looked up from the feeding and turned around quickly. "O, it's just you. I thought maybe you were Larxene or Axel coming down here to destroy my garden."

"But I have an accent," Luxord replied incredulously.

"So? What's your point?"

"When I say your name it sounds like 'Mawluxia' instead of with an R sound," Luxord explained.

"O, yes, I guess that would make sense." Marly (because the author _hates _typing out 'Marluxia') looked at the ground in shame. Yes, he was ashamed. He didn't like being thought of as stupid, because, even though Nobodies don't have emotions, they have pride. He then shifted his weight to one foot, dropped the bag of fish food he was holding on the ground, and placed a hand on his hip. "Why are you here, anyways?" he asked rather rudely.

"Well, I came down here to ask if you needed help…" Luxord looked around, "with your gardening."

"Why are you asking? You never help people unless commanded. You're always too busy playing cAWds," Marly was suspicious that maybe Luxord was going to destroy his _precious _flowers.

"If you're asking because you think I'll destroy your _stupid _flowers, you're completely wrong. I'm down here because I'm bored, and thought this might provide me with something to do to occupy my time. And, I'm a gentleman, and gentlemen help people." Luxord flashed a charming smile.

"Right. Well, no. I don't need help. Demyx was supposed to come help me, as commanded by the Superior."

"Xemnas can command him to do this?" Luxord furrowed his brow.

"Yes. I told him that Demyx ruined my flowers, which was a lie, so Xemnas told him to help me water my plants." Number X raised his eyebrow at this. "The only reason I lied was because I needed help watering, and Demyx's element _is _water," Marluxia drawled.

"And that's justified?" the blonde scoffed. "You're an under-handed, conniving bitch."

"And you're no gentleman." Then, suddenly, the end of Luxord's statement hit him. "Asshat, I am not a bit-"

But he was cut off. By Demyx. "Hey, did anyone else see two little girls in the hallway?" Luxord and Marluxia turned to look at the younger man. "Because, I don't know if I was imagining them or not, but they kept telling me to come play with them… I was almost tempted to actually go and play, but then I remembered that you'd kick my ass if I didn't show up, Marly," Demyx stated with a shrug and a smile.

"Don't call me Marly," seethed Marly while clenching his fists. "And get to work watering the flowers. If you dare to flood my garden, I swear that I will slice your head off! Do you understand me?"

"Jeez, ya don't gotta be so pushy with me. You know I'd do _anything _for **you**, Marly," Demyx said, jokingly, while batting his eyelashes.

"Just get started…" Marluxia said to him, handing him a watering can and stalking away to the trees, before turning one last time and speaking before continuing to stalk away. "_And _**don't** _flood the flowers_!"

Demyx turned to Luxord, who was currently smiling at the conversation. "Damn, that guy has terrible PMS," he said, while indicating Marluxia by pointing over his shoulder with his thumb.

"I agree… Well, since it looks like you're busy, and Marly doesn't need or want my help, I guess I'll be going. I'll find something else to amuse me." Luxord turned and started walking away. "Have fun watering his flowers, and remember: don't flood them! Bye Demyx."

"Yeah, fun, whatever…" Demyx then started humming _Living On A Prayer_, by Stellar Kart; because, though Bon Jovi did the song originally, the author has the cover of it stuck in her head. Luxord walked out of the green house, leaving Demyx to deal with Marluxia's constant bitching and complaining of how he's over-watering the flowers. That is a fate worse than having your toenails ripped out with rusty pliers. Something only Larxene could enjoy. That was all in jest.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Luxord wandered the hallways of the first floor for a few minutes before he decided to go to the library. Maybe, just maybe, there would be something interesting to read, or someone to 'hang' with in there. All just wishful thinking, but whatever. He arrived at the library and walked in. In the far left corner he spotted his favorite midget: Zexion, sitting in an armchair, reading a book. Luxord walked over to him and sat down in an armchair next to him, on his right.

"Hello Zexion."

"Hn."

"What are you reading?"

"_Sleeping Beauty_," replied the younger man curtly, before shifting his position so that his right shoulder was facing Luxord. The Gambler of Fate raised his eyebrow at the book.

"Why _Sleeping Beauty_? That's a fairytale book…"

"Because it's a tragedy."

"No it's not… It's just written badly," Luxord explained.

"I can see that. And I don't care! It has a depressing mood set; it goes with my soul," Zexion replied, a bit overdramatically.

"Your soul isn't depressing, though… It can't be… you don't have emoti--"

"Depression is not an emotion, it is a state of being!"

"But it comes from not being in touch with good emotions."

"I don't care! Just let me be depressed!" Zexion whined, being the perfect example of an emo poster boy.

"All right… You can't be depressed, but I'm perfectly fine with that… Why are you being 'depressed' anyways? You've been acting this way for nearly four weeks, now."

Zexion looked up from his book, the tragedy _Sleeping Beauty_, and glared at Luxord. "Maybe you'd be depressed too if you were hung from a coat rack for eleven or more hours, while passers-by laughed at you and made all kinds of short kid jokes. Maybe you'd be depressed too if the only reason Xigbar took you down was because your shrieking was keeping him awake, and because he just wanted to move you to tie you to Axel's doorknob! Maybe then you'd be depressed, too!" The younger, shorter man then closed his book and threw it at Luxord, who portaled behind him to avoid getting hit with the book.

"Bugger! You're insane!" Luxord yelled, British accent showing more than ever, as he used a slang term.

"I am not! I'm just angry, or, well, I should be, at least."

"I think I'll leave you alone for a little while… You look like you need some time to yourself… or a large latté at _least,_" Luxord said while walking to a bookshelf across the room. "But first, I need some good books to re--Hey! Who took all the _Harry Potter_ books!"

Zexion calmed down a bit and then answered. "Roxas did. He likes _Harry Potter_, you know that."

"O, yes, the boy has good taste in bo--And _The Lord of the Rings _trilogy is gone! Someone took _The Hobbit, _too! They're taking all the good books!"

"Xaldin took those," Zexion spoke through clenched teeth. He really didn't like being in the same room as Luxord. He then sighed impatiently. "Didn't you say that you were **leaving**?"

"Ah, yes. I suppose I was. Maybe we can catch up later? We haven't talked much recently. We can have some tea! And, if you really want a tragedy, or something close to it, read a Stephen King novel," Luxord advised before exiting the library.

"**Hahahaha**. Fuck _that _idea. Like I'm ever gonna have _tea _with the man that hung me on a coat rack? Yeah right!" Zexion said to himself before getting up to retrieve his book from the floor. He really actually liked _Sleeping Beauty; _he wasn't reading it because he thought it was a tragedy. That's just a cover story.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Luxord walked. He walked everywhere, down every hallway. Finally, he decided to go to the kitchen. Upon entering, he saw Saïx… making a smoothie. He really didn't like Saïx; after all, he was deftly afraid of him. But he was bored, and wanted something to do, so he attempted to hold a conversation with The Luna Diviner.

"H-hey Saïx… What are you doing?" spoke Luxord, with an anime style sweatdrop on his forehead.

"Making a smoothie," said Saïx, emotionlessly, while loading some strawberries and bananas into the blender, along with some milk, and then pressing the one button that makes everything go around and get blended and stuff. You know which button. Pardon the author if that's not what makes a smoothie; she doesn't know. All she knows is that they taste good. .

"O… well, that's interesting…"

"So it is."

"Um, uh, what are you going to do today?"

"Go to my room to drink my smoothie, and other things that are not of your concern."

"O, I see…" Luxord fidgeted. He didn't like talking to Saïx at all, and this conversation was making him nervous. And it was irritating Saïx, who was not the best person to get on the bad side of, Luxord decided. "Then, um, I think I'm going to go to the, uh, den and watch TV… Bye!" and with that, Luxord fled the room. Well, he didn't really flee, he just walked out quickly. Yeah, he power-walked out of the room. That's a good term for it. Luxord power-walked right out of the kitchen, down some more hallways, and into the den, where he saw Xigbar, lying on a couch in front of the community TV, watching cartoons.

"You still watch cartoons?" Luxord asked; he crossed his arms, half-smiled, bugged his eyes out, and raised one of his eyebrows. That'd be a funny expression to see on Luxord, so the author made him do it. Go look in the mirror and try it! And, yes, he does like to raise his eyebrow.

"Yeah, what of it?" Xigbar asked, without looking away from the dancing jellyfishies.

"Aren't you a little old for that? You have grey hair…" Luxord pointed out.

"Hey, man! The only reason my hair is partially grey, is because it changed when I became a Nobody," Xigbar looked away from the television and pointed to his hair when he talked about it.

"Right. And, why aren't you up in your room watching television? You've got a big screen plasma TV!" Luxord spread his arms apart, angled towards the floor, for emphasis.

"Because I don't get HBO! Duh!" The Freeshooter explained, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You're watching Nickelodeon."

"What's your point?"

"Someone else might want to watch TV, maybe?" suggested Number X.

"Yeah? Well they can screw off," Xigbar replied, turning his head back to face the television. "Besides, I'm **Number II**. That means, I'm everyone in this castle's superior and they must bend to my will." During that last sentence, he would point his finger into the couch cushion for emphasis on certain words.

"Whatever you say." Luxord then moved to sit down on a chair nearby. "Since you're the superior of everyone here, does that mean you could make Xaldin give me some books?"

"No. I don't want to." As the end theme song to the show he was watching played, Xigbar looked at his watch. "I gotta go somewhere anyways."

Luxord perked up. Maybe he could go to this 'somewhere' with Xigbar, to cure his boredom. "Where is this 'somewhere' that you need to go? Is it a mission?"

"Yeah. Xemnas assigned it to me about five hours ago. He said it was very important, but I was all like 'As if! I'm not gonna miss the marathon of my show today!' So, I waited. But now, it's like this, my show's over , so I'm leaving. Later Luxy." Xigbar then turned the television off and started walking out of the room.

At first scowling at the way Xigbar addressed him, Luxord then turned to follow his fellow Organization member. "Since it's a mission, do you mind me going? I might be abl--"

"Whoa! Luxord! I didn't know you really were gay! I mean, I know Larxene joked about it a month ago, but I didn't know it was true… I don't feel that way for ya man, sorry," Xigbar said, while rubbing the back of his head. Luxord had to resist the urge to commit ritualistic suicide right then and there.

"No! I'm not like that. Marluxia, maybe, but not me," the blonde explained. "I just wanted to get out of this castle. It's so dark and dreary and everything here."

"Dude. It's not dark. Most of the rooms are white."

"This room's dark!"

"That's because there aren't any windows and the TV was the only thing that was on."

"Makes no difference. I haven't gotten any assignments lately. No chances to leave or go anywhere," Luxord had broken his gentlemanly composure to whine. "Come on, Xigbar, I never ask for anything…"

"As if! I only wish that was true. Remember that time, it was right after you got your cards back and we hung Zexion on a coat rack, that you asked me for four munny to get your fat-free, sugar-free smoothie. I couldn't _believe _that! Four munny for something with nothing in it!" the elder man had started ranting. "Man, and you _never _paid me back for that!"

"Well, I'll pay you back!" Luxord started. "I mean, I'll pay you back, if you take me with you…"

The Freeshooter thought for a moment. "Okay, I'll let you go. Only if you stop whining and really do pay me back."

"Done."

"Good. Now give me the munny you owe me."

"I have to get it first… So, where is this mission going to be at?"

And with that, the two left the den, going to their own rooms to get extra cloak-jacket-thingies and clean under garments. Luxord also remembered to bring his munny, but hoping that Xigbar would forget by the time they were ready to leave. They met outside of Xigbar's room, he opened a portal, and they were off on Xigbar's mission.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

The end. Not really.

* * *

And that is the end of the first part. I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish this. I don't know. I'm not exactly satisfied with it, like I was with my other story. But I've got ideas for it, so that should help. Hopefully I _will _finish it. Although, if I don't, I'm apologizing ahead of time. And this one won't update as quickly as _Missing Cards _did.

Can ya guess what movie was referenced before Luxord entered the green house? Can ya guess what show Xigbar was watching? If you can, I swear, I love you. I really do.

Review pwease. Or, ya know, don't.

O, and I apologize to anyone I may have offended with this. Whether it be homosexuals, Nazis, or crazed fangirls that want to lynch me for making Zexion act like he did, I'm very sorry. I do not mean to offend anyone. I really do like Zexion and Marluxia and anyone else that I made fun of.


	2. I Wasn't Being Molested!

Reviews, they really make one happy. Ah, yes, reviews make me giggle.

**Guavi: **I read your review a few days ago, it made me happy. Why do reviews do that, make people happy? So, I thought about what to do with the story all weekend.

**Scylla Desdemonia Ophelia: **Heh, I was wondering if anyone was gonna understand that. You've restored my faith in the human race. ;) And if everything goes well, there will be more about Sa­ïx and his smoothies.

**Xinck: **I agree. Boredom drives people to do strange things. And, if you've got Microsoft Works Word Processor (that's what I've got) or any kind of Word, go to the Insert menu at the top of the screen, click (Insert) Special Character and go to whatever font you're typing in. It'll have all the nifty little letters with accent marks and umlauts (dots above I's and U's) and stuffs.

**Maux: **I agree, those characters are likeable _and _fun to read about.

**Takarifan101: **Thanks! Would it surprise you to know that I think detail is my biggest fault:D

Always appreciate the reviews!

This one will focus on Demyx, because he talks more than Sa­ïx does. Otherwise I'd have it revolve around him. This one, it'll show where Xigbar and Luxord went on a mission to. 'Kay?

I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_, or Luxord or Demyx or any other Organization members… but I would like plush dolls of them! **All **of them. **Out of characterness should be expected, too**. And, now, to the story we go!

* * *

Last time, Luxord and Xigbar went on an assignment together. Not what you're thinking, you little pervert. They've been gone for awhile now (two weeks), without checking in to the Superior. What's going on? First, we gotta find out what Demyx is doing.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Demyx was walking around Castle Oblivion aimlessly. He had nothing to do that day, but he didn't care. He always found something to do. Whether it was bothering Xaldin, or talking to Roxas, he always did something. The Melodious Nocturne was quietly humming the tune to _Longview._ Why is Demyx always humming or singing in stories? Probably because he's a musician and it gives him something to do. But, that's beside the point.

He wandered through the castle for a few more minutes before he decided to help Marluxia with his gardening. For the past two weeks, Demyx had gone down to water the flowers, and not even as punishment. He more or less just liked the fact that Marluxia 'appreciated' his talent; although, he _did _know Marly was just using him for his water.

Demyx made his way to the greenhouse and stepped inside. He spotted Marluxia on a right wall, trimming some bushes. Quietly, he crept in, edging closer and closer to the elder man. Once he was right behind The Graceful Assassin, he shrieked like a banshee. Marluxia, surprised, accidentally cut off one of the branches on the bush that he was trimming. He looked at the cut spot for a few seconds and then turned on Demyx.

"What the _Hell _did you think you were doing?" Marly screamed at him, pruning shears in hand.

"Well, Marly, I was ju--" I started, smiling, but he was cut off.

"No! No excuses, you little bitch! Because of your stupid ability to use your vocal cords, I just cut off part of my freaking Japanese quince! Now, it's missing part of one of its branches!"

"But I was just tryi--"

"I don't care what you were doing! You made me hurt my precious!" said Marluxia, sounding eerily like Gollum with that last sentence. He raised the shears on Demyx, looking ready to stab him in the chest at any given moment. Instead, he threw them across the garden and they landed in the stream. He still looked like he'd gone mad, though.

"Okay, settle down Marluxia… You know how Zexion does those breathing exercises when he gets all riled up an' stuff? Yeah, well you should try those right now…" Demyx said, placing his hands on the other man's shoulders (you guys are such dirty-minded perverts), and pressing down to get him into a sitting position. Marluxia yielded and sat down with his legs in front of him, and resting his weight against his hands (which were behind him). Demyx crouched down in front of him.

"I don't **need **_breathing_ exercises," he scoffed. "What I **need **is a new shrub!"

"How 'bout I go down the canyon, across the valley, and through the forest of evil, evil trees to the Quikki Mart and buy you some new seeds? Would that makes things all better?" Demyx asked, placing his hand on the other's shoulder, trying to comfort his would be, could be, should be, won't ever be friend.

Marluxia stared at the trees behind Demyx, zoned out. "Yes… that would make… everything all… better."

"That's good. At least now I know you don't wanna cut open my stomach with your scythe and rip out my intestines to cook and feed to Axel as revenge for him trying to set your garden on fire last week," Demyx said in one breath, followed by a relieved sigh. He then stood up. Marluxia's eyes narrowed and a devious smirk played on his face.

"O, now who says I don't still want to do that to you?" Marluxia's eyes had a malicious twinkle in them.

Demyx squeaked in fear and a wide-eyed and frightened expression formed on his face, because fangirls find that cute. "You wouldn't really do that to me… would you?"

"No. I wouldn't. Though I wish I would. Xemnas wouldn't approve." Marluxia stood up and brushed himself off and then looked Demyx in the eye. "Why are you here in the first place?" he asked both rudely and impatiently.

_Why does everyone in this damned place ask that when you visit them? _Demyx wondered to himself and then shrugged. "Well, ya know, I was just coming down here to ask if you wanted me to water your flowers or help trim your bush or something…?"

Marluxia raised an eyebrow. "Are you coming onto me?"

"What?"

The other just laughed at him. "Sorry, Demyx, not like that. But, no, you've trimmed my bush enough already. You cut it's fucking branch off and now I need a new one!" yelled Marluxia , suddenly angry.

"I didn't cut it! You did! And it wasn't my fault!--Well, I mean, it kind of was, but it wasn't my fault that you jumped and cut it!" Demyx was becoming defensive.

"It makes no difference!" Marluxia thrashed his arm to the side on the word 'difference'. "I cut it because _you _shrieked at me like a five year old getting molested!"

Demyx gave him a 'WTF?' look. "I was not being molested!" Now it was Marluxia's time for a certain look.

"I never said you were, you incapable dumbass! I said you screamed like you were!" Marly screamed at him.

"Yeah? Well, right now, you're screaming pretty much the same way!" Demyx took a more 'manly' approach to arguing and _yelled _back at Marluxia.

The aforementioned pink-haired man, paused and straightened up. Number IX stared at him, wide-eyed for a few seconds before Marly acquired a delightfully evil gleam in his eyes. He then summoned his scythe. Demyx took off outta that room faster than you can say apara--… well, let's just leave it at he left the room quickly. You get the idea.

Marluxia really didn't want to chase after Demyx, though, so he just scared him off, stopping right outside the greenhouse entrance and laughing. He really did love scaring the poor kid. Anyways, back to what Demyx was doing. He was running down some random hallways. Then he realized he could just use a portal to escape from Marluxia (who was, in fact, not chasing him). So he did. Demyx opened a portal and ended up his room. Just where he wanted to be.

"This is just where I want to be… And, I'm safe here from Marluxia…" he said. Then he went over and plopped down on a large couch on the right side of his room. He slept.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

An unspecified amount of time later, Demyx was awakened by obnoxiously loud knocking on his door. Instead of getting up to answer the door or even calling out to ask whom was there, he just laid his head back on the couch cushion (in his drool) to sleep some more. He figured that after a little while, whomever was out there would get tired of knocking and leave him be. The knocking (pounding) on the door _did _stop after a little while, in fact, and Demyx sighed in relief that he was finally going to get some peace to sleep (some more). Relaxing again, he settled into a comfortable position, getting ready to fall back into sleep. He heard a small noise in his room, but ignored it. He figured it was probably the wind.

"I must wonder why _you're _at a higher rank than Luxord or Marluxia," said a snide voice, causing Demyx to jump into a sitting position, eyes wide and jaw agape. "They're certainly much more capable than _you _are. If a superior had knocked on _their _doors, they would have answered immediately."

"Sa­ïx! What the Hell are you doing in my room? Don't you know how to knock?" asked Demyx, who was now irritated. Sa­ïx said nothing, leaving him to stare and laugh nervously at his own stupid question.

"Currently, I'm wondering why it is exactly that you got to keep your physical form when you became a Nobody." Sa­ïx crossed his arms. "And the reason I'm here is because Xemnas sent me to find you. That was several minutes ago. Since you don't know how to open doors when people knock, I'm going to be late returning."

"Well, I'm gonna be late _too_, and I don't care." Demyx shrugged.

"You also do not care for authority, otherwise you would have answered the door once you heard someone was knocking," replied Sa­ïx condescendingly.

"Yeah, whatever…" Demyx then got off the couch and clapped his hands, clenching them before him in the process, for effect. "So, when are we leaving for The Castle That Never Was?"

"Now."

"Alrighty, then." Sa­ïx opened a portal and pushed Demyx in. Before he was through completely, he had to make a smart remark to Sa­ïx. "Did you remember to get the Superior's latté?"

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

The portal that Sa­ïx summoned led to the Altar Of Naught, high atop The Castle That Never Was. Floating above it was the beginnings of Kingdom Hearts. Xemnas was at the opposite side of the altar, staring at it. Demyx rolled his eyes at this; although he wanted his heart back, also, he thought it was kind of stupid how the Superior would sit there and stare at Kingdom Hearts for hours on end, dreaming of the day he'd get his heart back. And that's why Xemnas didn't live in Castle Oblivion with his peons, but slept on the couch in the den when he visited, instead. O, yeah, the plot…

"You're late," Xemnas said simply.

"Demyx's fault. He wouldn't open his door when I knocked."

"Hey! I was sle--"

"Yes, but it was still your responsibility. You can't expect Demyx to take it. He's far too young and naïve and irresponsible to do anything or follow a single order without failing. Which is why I send you to get my lattés." The said Nobody crossed his arms and rolled his eyes at Xemnas. Nobody ever thought he could do anything right. Sa­ïx elbowed him hard in his exposed ribs and gave him a look, daring him to complain, when he was _about to _complain.

"I understand, Superior," Sa­ïx recited. He always did take the blame for one thing or another, because, after all, he _was _the most capable of the Organization members.

"And that, Sa­ïx, is exactly why you're here." Xemnas then turned, a faint smile playing on his full, sensual, seductive lips. That part's a joke. Laugh. "I've summoned you because you understand. You're the most capable Organization member." This statement caused Sa­ïx's pride to swell slightly, though he didn't show it. "I need you for an assignment."

"Then why am _I _here?" Demyx cut in, asking rather rudely. "I was sleeping ya know, and he," indicating Sa­ïx with his thumb, "woke me up."

Xemnas narrowed his eyes in a slight glare at Demyx. "You're here because you need some practice. You, Demyx, are lazy, irresponsible, and have never taken anything seriously. I'm hoping that sending you on more missions will straighten you out some; maybe you won't get in as many arguments with other members and will learn to take this whole situation seriously.'

"That's where you come in, Sa­ïx," Xemnas started again. "I need you to keep the task in order and make sure he," he pointed a finger at Demyx, "doesn't mess anything up."

"I will," Sa­ïx said simply.

"Good. And will _you _botch anything, Demyx?"

"Umm… No! No, I will not, sir!" he said, mocking and saluting Xemnas.

"If you do not discontinue your foolish behavior, I will turn you into a dusk," the Superior said calmly, though he was glaring at the younger of the two standing before him.

"Bu--"

"I'll make sure he doesn't do anything reckless, Superior," The Luna Diviner said, cutting Demyx off.

"Good," Xemnas smiled while saying this. "Now, for your… assignment. You recall a few weeks ago, I sent Xigbar to scout out a new world and how Luxord went with him to 'help', correct?" He waited for the two to show signs of recognition; Sa­ïx nodded and Demyx, tapping his foot and already impatient, twirled his hand in circle telling him he knew what he was talking about. Xemnas threw a pointed look at Demyx. "Well, they haven't come back. This assignment is to find them and bring them back to The World That Never Was, and in one piece, if they're in any kind of danger."

"That'd be two pieces…" Demyx mumbled to himself, before getting elbowed, again, by Sa­ïx.

"Do you two comprehend your duties?" When Xemnas asked this, he looked directly at Demyx the entire time. They nodded. "Good… Th--"

"So where is this going down at, anyways?" Demyx cut in, earning himself another glare.

Starting rather loudly, Xemnas (for the second time) began telling them. "This mission will be taking place in… North America!" There was a thunderclap and lightning in the background, as Xemnas said it. Demyx and Sa­ïx both gasped dramatically. "Yes, North America… in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania… Have fun finding them, Demyx!" And with that, Xemnas left through a portal to his flying dragon thingy.

"North America, eh? This'll probably suck… I mean, some of the biggest bands right now are My Chemical Romance and Green Day! I hate Green Day's new music! This'll be terrible! And do you know how big those cities over there are? They're huge! We'll never find Luxord and Xigbar!"

"Stop your whining, and let's just leave…" Sa­ïx then pushed his new 'partner' into a portal back to Castle Oblivion, so they could each pick up a change of clothes and their toothbrushes and toothpaste. They stored these in their hoods. The younger met the elder in the lobby on the first floor and then they walked into a portal that lead to Pittsburgh. They didn't leave, though, until after Demyx got some cookies out of a snack machine. Demy's gotta have his cookies.

* * *

Chapter Two. Yes, that was the almighty Chapter Two you guys were so looking forward to.

Why North America? Because if it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to put all the random crap in that I'm planning on later. And, **no**, I do _not _live in Pittsburgh. **No**, I do _not _plan on putting myself in the story, this is **not **the reason I set it in North America. And, **no**, you may _not _have Demyx's cookies! They're all mine.

Review please. 'Cause I'd love you. I really would.

And, another no. **No**, there will not be anything about the Quikki Mart from this point on. Unless, ya know, the situation calls for it. But it probably won't be in every chapter like in _Missing Cards_ or like it was in _The Snack Machine. _


	3. They'll Think We're Gay

This morning, instead of going to my youth group thing, I decided to stay home and write. Fans of the story, you guys should feel lucky that I had some ideas. I never really realized how much I drool when I sleep until this morning. XD That's interesting stuff, right there… Review replies!

**Xinck: **I might read your story. It all depends on when I write, and if I like it (your story) or not. But I'll give it a chance. And, yes, Sa­ïx does like making others miserable, especially Demyx and Axel. .

**Maux: **Heh, thanks. You'll find out what happened to them, in this chapter.

**Fuhrer Allie: **I love reading your reviews; they make me laugh/giggle so hard. Yeah, the movie was _The Shining_ and the show was, in fact, _Spongebob Squarepants. _Damn, I should have put the 'Mansex' thing in there… but then, everyone does that. :D I don't think Pittsburgh is scary, in fact, I love the place; it's gotta be my favorite city in the world. I just think it'd be kind of scary for the Organization members to go to, being all big and stuff. You shouldn't throw cookies at people. It's not nice. I'm gonna cry!

O, trust me, I sooooo own _Kingdom Hearts, _and that's why you all died the first time you tried in the second fight with Demyx. O yes, I am evil. **Out of characterness ahoy!**

Guess who we see in this chapter! That's right! Ronald McDonald! Well, not really… But a very rude little boy does play a part in this. No, he's no one from the game, he's just some random kid.

O, and it's not a yaoi story, no matter how much parts of it seem like it is. Sorry. :D

* * *

Demyx and Sa­ïx had just taken a portal to Pittsburgh. Why? If you don't know, go back and read. Duhhhhh. Fine, then, I'll tell ya: they're looking for Luxord and Xigbar. Happy? Here's where we left off.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Demyx and Sa­ïx were walking through the hallways of darkness. Ya know, where Axel died at. That part of the game pissed me off. Anyways, they were walking and they were on their way to Pittsburgh. Sa­ïx was walking rather quickly, making the supplies in his hood bounce against his back, but Demyx was walking rather slowly, taking the time to savor his cookies. They were, after all, Famous Amos cookies!

Demyx sighed. "Sa­ïx, slow down!" he whined.

The elder man just looked over his shoulder and snorted. "And why should I slow down? It'll make this mission longer and you'll be just as spoiled as ever, by getting your way." He kept up the brisk pace.

"O come _on_! I just don't wanna walk fast because I don't wanna choke on my cookies!"

"It doesn't matter if you do or not. You don't need to breathe. The only reason you take in breath is to speak. If you choke you won't die, because it doesn't matter if you have food or anything in your lungs."

"Always gotta go with the facts, dontcha?" said Demyx sarcastically while rolling his eyes. He sat down, regardless of Sa­ïx's insane march forward, and started munching on his cookies. "Whatever, I don't care. You go ahead, I'm gonna eat my cookies," he said adamantly. The Luna Diviner just stared at him, shocked that Demyx was taking a stand for himself.

"Xemnas wouldn't want us to be separated. The assignment is for both of us."

"I don't care. If I walk, I'll choke on a cookie." Demyx crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his chin in the air, looking away from Sa­ïx. The gesture said he wasn't going to move and none of his superiors (save Xemnas) could make him. Sa­ïx gave up, after realizing this, and plopped down on the ground, cross-legged, beside Demyx.

"You know I hate being late _and _wasting time," Sa­ïx sounded slightly agitated.

"Yeah, I know," said Demyx while shoving another cookie in his mouth. "But, as I said before, I don't care. I'm not moving."

"Fine. This time, you'll get your way, but only because we're getting close to the end of this pathway." After saying that, Sa­ïx grabbed a cookie out of Demyx's bag.

"Dude! These are mine!" he pouted.

"Stop looking like that. You know you can't feel anything," said the other, bluntly. "You have three other bags in your hood, anyway."

"So? I still remember what it was _like _to feel, so I can fake it any day."

"I don't even care. Just hurry up with your stupid cookies. Xemnas is expecting us back sometime soon."

"Pfft. Whatever." Demyx happily munched on his cookies for a few more minutes, with his new 'buddy' occasionally stealing one. Well, he wasn't 'munching happily', since he's a Nobody and all, but he was enjoying both the cookies and getting his way with Sa­ïx. After eating the rest of the bag, he got up from the ground and brushed his robe off. "Alrighty, I'm ready to go! Let's go to Pittsburgh!"

"Finally," said Sa­ïx blankly. They started the rest of their trek to Pittsburgh; arriving, within an hour, at the other end of the darkness hallway-thing they were traveling in.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

When Sa­ïx and Demyx arrived in Pittsburgh, that end of the portal came out in an alley next to a dumpster. That's a good place for it to end up, too, because otherwise, people would be all like 'OMFG! People just walked out of a portal! Lawl!' You get the idea, I hope. Well, really, a homeless man did see them, but he was drunk as fuck and Sa­ïx killed him just after they arrived, anyways.

The two 'partners' walked to the end of the alley and looked around the city. They could smell the scent of exhaust and gas from vehicles. Up above were giant buildings, one of them said 'Mellon' on it, and in front of them, throngs of people, pushing past each other to get to the places they needed to be. It was lunchtime in Pittsburgh, and a cloudless afternoon, too. In the middle of the brick street were planters where trees grew, and there were hundreds of cars and buses, moving with the colors of the traffic lights, in start-stop motion. For two Nobodies that lived in a world where the city was basically abandoned and it was always night, this was almost surreal.

Demyx looked around and stared at the people. "Sa­ïx, we're not dressed like _any _of them… They'll think we're **gay**, going around dressed the same, like a couple!" he hissed.

"How much munny did you bring?" Sa­ïx asked, as they both walked back into the depths of the alleyway.

"Well, my munny pouch holds about ten-thousand… and it was a little under half-full. I'm guessing I had around 4,700 munny. How much does yours hold?" Demyx asked as he fished around in his hood for their munny pouches.

"Mine holds about the same, and it's nearly full," Saïx said simply. Demyx's eyes bugged out, and he looked at Saïx, pausing in his search for the pouches.

"You've got _that _much?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes. Why? Luxord has more, he _is _a gambler, after all."

"Well, how can you go without spending it all?"

"I don't usually buy things on missions. It looks like we might have to at least buy clothes, here, though…" he trailed off. "Have you found the pouches, yet?"

"Dude, stop being so impatient. No… They're not in here…" Demyx spoke, while emptying his hood onto the pavement of the alley. "But there are these." He picked up two black leather wallets and opened them. Inside were hundred dollar bills (each amount totaling however much munny each man had). "I'm guessing that these," he help up a wallet in each hand, "are our munny pouches… I guess the currency and means of carrying it changed when we entered this world…" He shrugged and handed the lighter one to Saïx, who just looked at him like he was an idiot. "What?"

"You have mine."

"No, I don't…"

"Yes, you do. That one's a lot thinner than the other, and I already said I had more money than you did," Sa­ïx countered with undeniable logic.

"Damn… I was hoping you wouldn't notice…" he then handed Saïx his wallet, and placed his own back in his hood. "So… how are we going to find Luxord and Xigbar in _this _mess?" Demyx asked, once they started walking towards the end of the alley.

"It doesn't matter. Let's just go find a store and get some clothes." Lo and behold, a Wal-Mart suddenly appeared two blocks away. I don't know Pittsburgh well, so I randomly put a Wal-Mart in so they had somewhere to shop. So there. They walked in the direction of the Wal-Mart without knowing, came upon it, and entered. Inside it was almost just as noisy and busy as outside. Luckily, for Saïx, the men's clothes were just past the cash registers.

"Yes! We're going shopping!" Demyx shouted with excitement, causing Sa­ïx to smack him on the back of his head, then walked past him. The Melodious Nocturne rubbed the back of his head where he was hit. "Jerk," he mumbled, and then started following Sa­ïx.

In the men's clothing section was a large shelf-thing (taller than Sa­ïx) with shirts folded in rows on it. Demyx automatically walked over to it and started examining what shirts they had, laughing at some. "Hey, Sa­ïx, this one fits you perfectly!" he said, grinning, and holding up a shirt that read 'silence is golden, duct tape is silver' in all capitals, with a smiley face that had duct tape covering its mouth below. "Isn't it great? You should get it!" he urged.

Sa­ïx just glared at him. "I do _not _think so, no matter _how much _I want to **rip **your vocal cords out. How about you get one of those pathetic shirts that are supposed to be clever, and I buy a shirt that is less demeaning. Sound good with you?"

"Meh, sure, whatever…" Demyx was said, while being distracted with looking through the shirts. In the end, he settled with a shirt that was dark grey and had a Peep™ (like Easter Peep™ marshmallow chicks) on it, with 'Where My Peeps At?' under the chick. He also bought some semi-tight (but not straight-legged) jeans that were slightly faded, but had no rips! 'Cause ripped jeans are just cliché anymore. He also bought a black, studded belt. Demyx purchased a backpack to put their Organization robes in, too, and some more hair gel, because they were having a sale! While Sa­ïx was looking for some clothes to wear, a young female worker asked him if he needed help.

"Hello mister! Do you need some help finding some clothes?" she asked brightly. He took one look at her and glared, then went back to searching for a decent shirt. "Hey, I asked if you needed help finding some clothes for yourself!" she asked, getting slightly impatient with him.

"Look, girl, if you don't leave me alone, I will personally rip out your uterus and feed it to you for dinner. Do you understand? Does that sound _good _to you?" his voice remained calm and face blank, the entire time. She looked at him with wide eyes, turned on her heel, and left rather quickly.

Sa­ïx bought some (sort of) baggy, medium-blue jeans and a white button up shirt. He chose to carry his robe, instead of letting Demyx carry it in his backpack, in case he wanted to wear it unzipped later. He then, after buying his clothes and changing into them, walked out into the anteroom of the store, and found Demyx, riding in a Bob the Builder bulldozer, cheering giddily. Sa­ïx just rolled his eyes and sighed, impatiently.

Demyx spotted his faithful, traveling cohort and smiled all big-like. "Sa­ïx! You gotta ride this!" yelled the blonde, bobbing up and down with the bulldozer. "It's only fifty cents!" Demyx found out what cents, quarters, dimes, and pennies were when the clerk gave him his change back and repeated the change total back to him. The ride stopped after a few seconds, to his disappointment. "Dammit! What the Hell? This sucks!" Demyx started his tantrum over the ride stopping.

Sa­ïx stalked over to the young man, grabbed his arm, and yanked him off of the mechanical bulldozer. "Get down from there, you fool!" he snarled, before doing the aforementioned action. Snarly Sa­ïx… skurry. A small crowd of people, including a Wal-Mart greeter and a cart-boy, were watching the scene; some of the children watching giggled at Demyx. Sa­ïx tried to drag him out of the store.

"Wait! Sa­ïx! I-I gotta **get my bag**!" he pulled his arm out of his partner's grip and ran back to the ride to get his backpack, which he'd set down before starting the machine. After he got his bag, he ran outside after Sa­ïx. "Sa­aaaaa-ïx! Why do you always gotta ruin my fun? C'mon… You should really ride one of those sometime… You'd **liiiiike **it…" he whined/teased.

The blue-haired elf-man glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, then looked back in front of him. "Be quiet, Demyx. Xemnas was right about you. You _are _incapable of doing a mission without getting distracted or messing the whole thing up. We came here for one reason, and one reason only: to find Luxord and Xigbar, who have for some reason unknown to all of us, gone AWOL. This is a serious assignment and the first major one you've gotten. You should really consider taking it seriously, you incompetent fool!"

"I _am _taking it seriously. It was **my **idea to buy clothes that would blend in with the crowd," Demyx said, while making his way over to a crowd of people gathered along the curb, a block or two down. "Can't say I'm not trying, can ya?" he called over his shoulder.

Sa­ïx just sighed. He was getting tired of having to put up with Demyx and wished he had a more capable companion, such as Xaldin or Vexen, or even Marluxia. He followed his partner, nevertheless. The two pushed their way to the front of the crowd to find--Luxord! OMFGNOWAY! He was wearing a black, button-up shirt (open at the neck, revealing a grey undershirt), with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was running a card game-type-deal-thing. Ya know, the kind where there are three cards and the person playing has to find the Queen of Hearts or whatever, after the dealer mixes the three up. Luxord's hand moved fast, faster than any of the other people, running games like this, hands could go. He was really a very talented gambling British man.

"Come on, come on," he spoke to the newest contestant, a red-headed teenage boy, while he stared at the cards, "where is the Queen? Which of the three cawds is the Queen of Hearts?"

The boy looked arrogant, thought he could get it. Thought he followed her path very well. "It's the middle one," he said simply.

"We'll see," Luxord said with a devious gleam in his eye, as he looked at the boy. The gambler flipped the middle card over with his right thumb, revealing the Ace of Clubs. "So sorry, son, but you were wrong, so you don't get your money back."

"O my GAWD! Motherfu--" the boy was cut off, by a card being thrown and giving him a shallow cut on his chin.

"Uh, uh! Language, young man; there are children and ladies present," said Luxord, always being the chivalrous gentleman. "You need to learn some manners. Come back when you've got some, then maybe I'll let you try again." He smiled as he shooed the boy away. Demyx and Sa­ïx watched silently, as their fellow Organization member had not yet noticed their presence; most likely because of their clothing. "Is there anyone else who'd like to play?"

"I would," said a familiar voice from the back of the crowd, "like to play." A man with black and grey hair in a ponytail stepped through the crowd. OMGXIGGY-KUN! (fangirls' heads explode) He was wearing sunglasses and was smoking a cigarette. Instead of his Organization robe, he was wearing a black print-tee and blue jeans that flared slightly. "I'll play yer little game, I guess… But, I want to raise the stakes…" Gasps and 'ooo's from the crowd were heard.

"What should the stakes be, then?" Luxord asked, smiling, while shuffling a deck of cards off-handedly.

"How 'bout we do it like this: if I get the card right, I get all yer money, and if I get it wrong, you get to keep yer money, and I give you anything valuable I've got on me. Sound like a deal?" Xigbar grinned slyly.

"Sounds good. Would anyone like to make a wager on who will win?" Luxord asked the crowd. Several people bet, and all on The Gambler of Fate, as they handed over their money. "Okay, all bets taken, let's start the game." He did the same hand trick he'd used on everyone else: cards all moving in different directions, hand with them, then he suddenly stopped the mad dance of his hands. He rested his right hand next to the card on the right. "What's your guess?"

Xigbar considered the cards for a moment. "The one on your right!" he said, quite loudly, pointing his finger at it. Luxord flipped the card over, revealing the much sought after Queen of Hearts.

"You win…" the blonde said slowly. The people that bet on Luxord cursed fate and their luck, and walked away, along with the rest of the crowd, and Xigbar collected his 'winnings' and walked away. Two, however remained, watching Luxord put his cards away and fold up his table, still not noticing them.

"Heya Luxy!" said a bright voice, causing Luxord to look up in surprise.

"Demyx? Sa­ïx!" he asked in not too much surprise, but more fear than anything (it was Sa­ïx, after all). "So, the Superior finally decided to call us home?"

"Yes. You're to report to him immediately, along with Xigbar," Sa­ïx said, emotionlessly, as always.

"Hmm… How about I don't? I like it here," he protested. "Well, at least not yet. And, Xigbar should be back anyti--Yes, speak of the devil."

"Hey! Demyx, Sa­ïx! Didn't expect to see you guys here!" he spoke in his surfer-accent, while 'pounding it' with Demyx. "So, what's up?"

"Ya gotta come back to Castle Oblivion. Xemnas said so," Demyx shrugged.

"Whoa ho _ho_. No _way_. This place is great! And it's really easy to earn some quick money. No way am I going back."

"That's what _I _told them," Luxord said while beginning to walk away with his fold-up table. "I don't want to go back, either, Xigbar. There are casinos here."

"Not to mention an _adult _theatre, over by where the apartment is," Xigbar said, while nudging Sa­ïx. "I know for a **fact**, that you haven't gotten any since joining the Orga--"

"That's none of your conce--"

"Did you just say **adult theatre**?" Demyx asked, mouth hanging wide open. "They have those here?"

"Yes. That's one of Xigbar's favorite hang-outs. I'm sure the person selling the tickets every night probably thinks he's some kind of sex-crazed pervert, by now. Not that they'd be wrong, though," Luxord said over his shoulder, smiling, and beginning to walk off, towards the 6th Street Bridge. Xigbar was following.

"See ya later dudes! Gonna go 'home' and split up our earnings for the day!" he called over his shoulder.

"You two stop this instant!" Sa­ïx yelled. "You can't disobey Xemnas. I'd expect Number II of Organization XIII to know that!"

"I _do _know that, I just don't want to accept it," Xigbar said, stopped, and shrugged. "I mean, I respect the Superior and everything, but I really wanna go somewhere. Scouting out this world was the best thing _ever_."

"Yes, I agree. And coming with him was my best idea, yet," came from Luxord.

"Sa­ïx, this place sounds great," Demyx whispered to his partner. "I think we should stay here for a little while. Ya know, at least for a day…"

"Xemnas said to return immediately."

"Yeah, well. You can scout out the world, instead of them doing it. Take Xigbar's assignment, and our own. How 'bout that?" Demyx pled with him.

"I don't know…"

"C'mon! Just today and tomorrow…?" Demyx started pouting to get his way. The 'cuteness' of this act disgusted Sa­ïx. He decided to agree, just to get Demyx to stop. "Yeah! This is awesome!" He jumped up and down and hugged Sa­ïx, who quickly pushed him away, with an elbow in the stomach. "Umph!" Demyx clutched his poor injured tummy. Any fangirls wanna rub it and make it feel better for poaw widdle Demy?

"**Don't **touch me!" Sa­ïx growled.

"So, are you guys comin' or what?" asked The Freeshooter.

"If you are, you'd better hurry. I'm just going to put my table back at the apartment, then we're going to go eat," Luxord called from the beginning of the bridge.

"O, we're coming!" Demyx yelled, and he happily (as happy as a Nobody can be, that is) ran to Luxord and stood beside him; rocking back and forth on his feet while Luxord stood still. The two waited for Xigbar and Sa­ïx to catch up to them and then started walking to the apartment Luxord and Xigbar mentioned.

* * *

Ah ha. The almighty Chapter Three. That was long. I'm writing on page **seven **of Word Processor! I'm sure this is the longest chapter I've ever written... 

I wasn't really sure how to dress Sa­ïx and Xigbar. I was actually gonna give Sa­ïx a trench coat and Xigbar a leather jacket, but figured that'd by going overboard. But I love Demyx's outfit, or, how I picture it in my head. Especially the shirt. I saw it at Wal-Mart the other day and thought it was so funny. So, I bought it… and now I'm a cross-dresser, because I have a guys' shirt. :D Okay, enough rambling. I thought the shirt fit Demyx's attitude, and Luxord's outfit fits his gentlemanly self. Yes, he'd look good in a black button up shirt. Enough rambling/explaining.

Review if ya would. Reviews are fun to read. .

The fourth installment probably won't be out as quickly as this one came. So sorry.


	4. It's Called A 'MulHawk'

Jeez, I don't know what I can do to not make this seem like a yaoi. xD 'Cause no matter what, that whole apartment thing is gonna be taken wrong! lol Ennehways…

**Scylla Desdemonia Ophelia: **lol I guess you're not supposed to. They _are _the guys' shirts, but they're so much better than girls' shirts, so why not buy them, right? They're not really happy, they're just paid to be. :D

**EliasDaemonwing: **Thanks for the review, old bean. Jolly good show.

I do not own _Kingdom Hearts_ and I never will. This makes me sad. **Out of characterness is a must.**

Yes, the Allegheny Center is real. Yes, the adult theatre that's close to it is real. Most anything else is probably not real, sadly, that's including the Organization members.

**W****arning: Small spoilers for _Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. _Don't read the part after certain characters buy snacks, if you don't want that movie partially ruined for you, that is (if you haven't seen it and want to, I mean).

* * *

**

After Xigbar and Sa­ïx caught up with Demyx and Luxord, The Gambler of Fate led them to the apartment. I know what you're thinking. It's not like that. You only wish it was. They were living in Building 7 of the Allegheny Center. Across from this building, but with a park in between, was the adult theatre that they had spoken of earlier. Luxord continued to lead them onward, all the way up the stairs to the tenth floor, room 1022.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

"Dammit… There are so many stairs… Why'd ya hafta get a room so high up?" Demyx asked while panting.

"Hey dude, it's not our fault. He just rented an apartment and _they _put it all the way up here!" explained Xigbar.

"The only reason we're up so high," Luxord said while unlocking the door, "is because the rooms farther down on the building are taken up by college kids." He unlocked the door and stood holding it open with his hand, while still in the hallway. "This building, well the lower levels of it, along with Building 8, for kids over twenty-one, is their dormitory." The small group entered the room.

When first entering, there was a wall separating two rooms: the kitchen on the left of the entrance, and a living room to the right. Behind the kitchen, was a small sitting, with a table, that was also connected to the living room. In the living room was a futon, up against the wall separating the room from the kitchen. There was a window and a sliding door on the back wall of the apartment, where a small balcony was located. On the right wall of the living room was a small walkway, with a closet at the back of it, with two closed doors on either side of the closet.

"You're living _here_?" Sa­ïx asked, raising his eyebrow. "This is a little small. You gave up living in Castle Oblivion for **this**? Xigbar, your room alone was four times the size of this, and that's only the upstairs that I'm speaking of."

"Your point?" asked The Freeshooter. Luxord was busy putting his fold-up table away in the room to the closet's left, what was most likely a bedroom.

"You should come back to the Organization," Sa­ïx said flatly.

"As if! I don't want t--Demyx! Don't touch that! Do you know how much it _cost_?" The younger member was playing with a computer that was set up by the sliding door. He looked up from his game of Spider Solitaire.

"Wh_aaaaat_? I'm not doing anything!" he whined, as Xigbar walked over and started pulling him away by the back of his shirt. "OW! **Stop**! You're pulling my h_aaaaaai_r!"

"It's not my fault you have some kind of… mullet? mohawk thing? for a haircut," he said as he pulled the younger over to the door, where he and Sa­ïx were waiting before the distraction.

"It's called a 'mul-hawk'. I made it up myself!" Demyx said brightly, causing Sa­ïx to roll his eyes; he was about to say something to Demyx about his intelligence level when Luxord emerged from the other room.

"Alright, I'm ready to leave. Who wants food?" he asked, being a gentleman as always. Xigbar shrugged, Sa­ïx crossed his arms and remained silent, and Demyx jumped up and down out of (what would have been) joy (if he wasn't a Nobody). "So, just Demyx?" Nobody said anything, except Demyx, who said he wanted jelly beans. "I guess that means we don't have to eat or anything, then."

"But I'm hungry!" the youngest whined.

Luxord sighed. "Demyx, we're Nobodies, we don't need to eat, we only do it because it tastes good. You can't be hungry; food doesn't affect us."

"Then why do you only drink fat-free, sugar-free smoothies instead of regular ones?" Xigbar muttered to Luxord, who only supplied him with a sheepish grin as an answer, meaning he had bad taste and liked them, not because his doctor said he had high-blood sugar.

"You still have three bags of cookies in your backpack, anyways," Sa­ïx pointed out, bluntly.

"So? I want jelly beans, now."

"Well, I could really go for some gummi bears, too… How 'bout we go for a movie or something? I heard there's some movie about pirates playing," suggested Xigbar, while pulling his eye patch out of his pocket and holding it up. "Arrrr."

"That's not even funny, Xigbar," Luxord told him. "Well, personally, I'm up for anything… as long as it's not some porno-pirate movie that you're talking about," he said, while eyeing Xigbar.

"No, no. It's not. Although, they could make it into one… with a title like it has and all…" he replied, while smirking.

"You're _so _clever," replied the elder blonde.

"Well, I thought it was funny," Xigbar mumbled, then brightened. "So, who's up for a movie?" he asked while spreading his arms for emphasis.

"I am!" Demyx responded loudly. "And Sa­ïx _knows _that he wants to go, so let's just leave!"

"I do not want to go see a movie. I'm going to follow through with the mission: scout out this world and bring you two runaways home," he said, pointing at Numbers II and X. "Any questions?" They shook their heads, before Luxord spoke up. He was getting used to being around Sa­ïx, which meant his fear of him was gradually diminishing.

"How about this, Sa­ïx: Demyx, Xigbar, and I go see a movie, and you go scout out the world. Sound good to you?" he asked. Sa­ïx thought for a moment before deciding.

"Fine. Go see your pathetic movie. _I'll _do my job, what the Superior asks of me," he said before getting Xigbar's key to the room and stalking off, like he always does.

"Yeah, be sure you get his latté with extra whipped cream this time!" Demyx called after him. He received the 'highway salute' in answer and just giggled to himself. He turned to Luxord and Xigbar. "Sooo, we're gonna go see a movie?"

"Apparently so," Luxord stated. With that said, they left the room, but taking the elevator instead of the stairs, since none of the irritating college students were currently using it. They got down on the first floor at about the same time as Sa­ïx, but he just ignored them and went about the mission alone.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Sa­ïx wandered the streets of Pittsburgh, taking in his surroundings as Xigbar should have done two weeks before. It seemed there were no Heartless… but maybe they were there after all. Yeah, they were. They're called 'assholes driving around in the big cities' and gang members, and lawyers, of course. Yes, lawyers were Heartless, bloodsucking bastards. Sa­ïx guessed he needed to make more of those, but law school was just _too expensive_! O, yeah, he was walking the streets, currently.

He'd decided to put his Organization coat-thing back on, because he felt naked without it; though, he wasn't _really _naked, just in the minds of sick, twisted Sa­ïx fangirls. O, you guys are sick. Sa­ïx was receiving strange looks from people who probably thought he was a flasher, but they kept their thoughts to themselves. After walking for awhile, he stopped at a Starbucks. He was gonna get himself a smoothie. The Luna Diviner walked up to the counter.

"Hello sir. How may I help you?" came the lazy drawl of the girl behind the counter. His first thought was: _She's even more emo than Zexion_ She had the classic 'emo glasses', and eyes ringed with so much black eyeliner that she was beginning to resemble a raccoon. She had dark burgundy lipstick (which left stains on her teeth) and a pastie complexion. Her black, choppy hair, didn't do much for making her look too lively, either, as it just made her look even more pallid. _In _her hair, she wore random Barbie™ barrettes, probably thinking that it would make her some kind of individual, but we all know that those don't exist anymore. On her annorexically thin wrists she wore black and white checkered bracelets, which she used to 'hide' random slash marks on her wrists, which healed after a few days and never left scars. She was hardcore emo. Sa­ïx just thought she looked pathetic, but kept his comments to himself.

"I'd like a strawberry banana smoothie. Preferably, the fat-free, sugar-free kind," he ordered calmly.

"We don't _have _strawberry banana. Read the **menu**. We only have chai tea and passion fruit tea or whatever. I don't know," she said in an exasperated sigh. "Order something else... Your scar is sexy, by the way… Scars are really sexy…"

Sa­ïx stared at her, blank for a moment, then he responded. "Just get me the passion fruit smoothie." She did, then he had more to say. "You like scars, right?" She nodded vigorously. "Yes, then maybe when you cut yourself you should cut more deeply. Really. No one wants you here, just end it. Your parents hate you, don't they? They buy you anything you want, but they still hate you, right?" She nodded again, this time more slowly and with a morose look on her face. "You have a nice life, but you hate it?" More nodding. "Everyone around you is fake?" More nodding; he really _did _understand her. "Then the answer is suicide. Life seems just too unbearable, no one really cares. They won't miss you. Just end it."

"You're right! Thank you! All my life, I've been blind and you've finally give me hope, answers! I'll never forget you!" she said as he was walking away. He knew she wouldn't forget him, after all, she only had a few more hours left. How can you forget someone that quickly, especially when they're the person that pushed you over the edge? He walked out, smiling, under the golden sun of the afternoon. She'd make a wonderful heartless; she was, in reality, almost there, anyways.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Luxord, Demyx, and Xigbar walked into a theatre (no, not the adult theatre!), that was in downtown Pittsburgh on Grant Street, because I said so. Even though there is no such theatre, but Grant Street is real. But that's beside the point. The point is, they went into a theatre. Demyx bought the tickets, because the girl selling them looked about the same age as he did, and he thought she was sexaaaay.

"Hey, babe, three tickets for _Pirates_ (_the shortened term for the movie's name_)," he said, while leaning on the counter and batting his eyelashes at her, 'cause that's what he does. She wasn't Marluxia, though, so this time it was orthodox. She giggled.

"Lyke, sure! That'll be twenty-one dollars, cash only!" she said brightly, while twirling her hair around her fingertips.

"Aww, come on. You're cute, cantcha give me a discount?" he grinned at her, while taking out his wallet.

"Sorry, hun, I don't swing that way," she said sweetly and smiled at him, while holding out her hand. "Twenty-one dollars."

Demyx looked stunned. "Not even a little bit?" he asked, referring to the way her door swung. "It doesn't swing the other way, at all?"

"Nope."

"Then why'd ya flirt with me?" he whined, while handing her the money, and receiving three tickets for the movie in return.

"I wasn't. I was just laughing at how clueless you were," she replied, smiling, still. "Have a nice day and enjoy the movie!" she said as Demyx walked back to Luxord and Xigbar. The two had silently watched the entire conversation, laughing to themselves and making rude comments about his attempt at flirting.

"That went smoothly," Xigbar said to Demyx, smirking and suppressing laughter.

"Yes, _real _nice job at flirting," Luxord agreed. "Thanks for paying for the tickets, too. You just saved me seven dollars. I can buy some smoothies with that saved money."

"Shut up. Xigbar, you're a prick. Luxord, you're a gentleman, but sometimes you can be a prick just like Xigbar," he muttered. "Let's just get our snacks and watch the stupid movie." Demyx's spirit was not just broken, but shattered. Well, that is, until he saw that they had a certain sour/sweet candy, when they got over to the snack counter.

"O my gawd¡one! They have Sour Patch Kids™!" he said excitedly, to his two 'friends'. The guy/kid at the counter, selling the snacks, just gave him a strange look.

"Yeah… we do sell them… most theatres do… Does that mean you want some?" he asked.

"Damn straight! I'll have three bags!" Demyx said while taking a twenty out of his wallet and throwing it at the kid. "O, yeah, I'll have a large root beer, too. With no ice," he added quickly.

"I need fourteen more dollars, dude," the snack-guy said, so Demyx gladly took more money out of his wallet and gave it to him. Anything to get him some Sour Patch Kids™.

Luxord ordered next. "Hello, yes, I'll just have some buttered popcorn, no salt, and a medium lemonade, also without ice," he said politely, in his accented voice. He gave the boy twenty-seven dollars and stood by Demyx, waiting for Xigbar.

"Theatre food and snacks sure are expensive," he said to the younger.

"Ishhhh it?" Demyx asked, while eating some of his candy.

Luxord rolled his eyes at him. "It's impolite to speak while you have food in your mouth, and yes, it is," he said, taking a sip of his lemonade, and then noticed Xigbar walking towards them. He was carrying two snack carriers: one with nachos, a large Icee™, and a bag of Reese's Bites™, the other with a large bag of popcorn, two bags of Sour Patch Kids™, and a small drink. Demyx stared wide-eyed and Luxord rolled his eyes, for the second time in one paragraph.

"Dudes, do you even know how much I paid for all this?" he asked as he walked over to them.

"At least forty dollars?" Luxord asked.

"Eh, about forty-nine. So, you guys ready for this movie?"

"I sure am! And, look! I've got my favorite kind of candy! These are even better than jelly beans!" Demyx said happily. Luxord nodded to Xigbar, and the three went into the theatre. They sat in the middle of the theatre, which was about half-way full. And then, the movie started. At the part of the movie where Tia Dalma is explaining to Jack Sparrow about Davey Jones, Demyx had an episode, and it went a little something like this.

"**OH MY GAWD! DAVEY JONES IS A _NOBODY_!"** he stood up and shrieked, in the middle of the movie. He scared Luxord into dropping some of his popcorn on the floor, and Xigbar spit some of his Icee™ out into the hair of the woman in front him. Luckily, she was too busy making a rude face at Demyx to notice.

Luxord pulled the other Nobody back into his seat. "Davey Jones is _not _a Nobody, now **by quiet**!" he hissed in his ear.

"But he doesn't have a he--"

"I said **be quiet**!" Luxord reiterated. In reality, he _was _being a gentleman, for what he did helped the other people in the theatre concentrate on the movie, and not Demyx's stupidity. "The only time there's a Nobody in Port Royal is when I'm there, and I am _not _there, so he's not a Nobody. Now, just sit still and watch the rest of the movie," he whispered/hissed as Demyx began to pout.

The end of the movie caused another outburst from Demyx, as Barbossa delivered the last line of the movie. "So, tell me, what's become of my ship?" he asked before biting into an apple, when the end credits began playing.

"**WHAT? THEY'RE ENDING IT LIKE THIS?" **Demyx yelled, before Xigbar poked his kidney extra hard. "Ow! Xigbar? What the fu--"

"Demyx," Luxord said, while clapping a hand over the younger blonde's mouth, "don't say words like that. There are children around." He gestured towards the children of the woman who got Xigbar's Icee™ in her hair. "Come on. We should go back to the apartment, Sa­ïx might be waiting. And if he's not, well, we can play… cawds," Luxord said deviously. And so, they left the theatre, and started their trek back to the apartment.

* * *

I was a little unsure about writing today, but that part with the theatre made me laugh when I wrote it, though, I'd had the idea for the longest time.

Sorry if I offended anyone with that whole emo girl-suicide thing. I don't agree with suicide, it's **not **the answer. Don't flame me for that, only flame if you think the story's bad. 'Kay?

Yes, I know, I exaggerated the prices of snacks at movie theatres, but they are _really _expensive, and you can't really do anything but agree with me. Well, they are cheap at this one theatre that I live close to, but that's a local theatre, not a chain.

Review, maybe?

Okay, I'm sure the next one won't be out so quickly… 'cause I'm gonna be busy tomorrow… Unless I start it tonight, which I won't, but whatever. Hope ya enjoyed this, although I'm not too sure you did… because I don't like this chapter too much. xD


	5. Glomping And Go Fish

Part Five. :D I must wonder why my sister knows the words to some song by Hilary Duff.

**Maux: **Thanks. Do you know how much of a pain it is to keep them in character as much as I can? I wanna write them all like Demyx, just 'cause he's the easiest! 'Cause writing characters similar to you are always the easiest, I guess? Rambling… Davey Jones being a Nobody was nearly all I could think about whenever he was on camera the second time I saw it. I think I like _Kingdom Hearts 2_ way too much. I actually was thinking he'd be in the third game, but I never even considered Jadis… it could be.

**Guavi: **Yes! I love long reviews! For some reason, I get a big kick out of Demyx getting in trouble with Marluxia, or the two fighting. Gotta love it. I picked Pittsburgh, because, well, I love the place. It's my favorite city, and I plan to go to college there and live there and the like. And, I don't know, just sounded like a good idea. Sort of. :D Yeah, that part of the game left me clueless and pissed and everything and grr! Made me so sad. lol True, the coats _should _have pockets. Well, Demyx wouldn't have too much trouble blending in; lots of people have mohawks and such, but Sa­ïx would definitely have a hard time blending in. I laughed so hard when I read what you wrote about Luxord finding out about Vegas. That'd be funny to see. Gotta love the mul-hawk, though. And, I never even thought about politicians and dentists until reading your review… that woulda been a good idea to put it. :D Glad you liked it, and wow, this is a long reply to a review.

**Katrover Swatroad: **I think I said something similar to what I wrote in the story when the movie ended. Yelled it like Demyx. Got weird looks. Funny times. Figured it'd be funny to put that in the story, though, I wasn't going to and hadn't even thought about it when I started writing that part. Thanks. :D

**Scylla Desdemonia Ophelia: **Yes! I love being one of someone's heroes! So happy that you like my stories so much. high-fives Woo!

**Arnen: **Damn right:D

**T****his **will be a bit of a crack chapter. Ya know, 'cause all stories need at least one chapter where everything's gone slightly screwy.

I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_, and I don't realize why I keep putting the disclaimer in. **Out Of Character, Inc.

* * *

**

It was around seven in the p.m. when Luxord, Demyx, and Xigbar started making their way 'home'. Demyx kept hitting on random girls on the way there, because he's like that, causing the two he was with to roll their eyes every time.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

"Must you hit on every girl you come across?" asked Luxord, irritably. That last girl had been the twelfth one Demyx tried to get with, and they had only gone four blocks, leaving two left until the 6th Street Bridge, which led directly to the Allegheny Center. "Could you at _least _keep your hormones in check until we get back to the apartment. Then, you can go somewhere else and--"

"Fuck your brains out!" Xigbar finished for him, receiving a glare, but just smiled back in return.

Demyx pouted. His friends completely misunderstood him. "I don't wanna fuck anyone, I just like the attention!" Fangirls everywhere began crying after he said that.

"But, Demyx, most of the attention you've gotten is bad," Luxord told him. "Three of the girls hit you with their purses, four tried to either kick or beat you, and one was a male transvestite prostitute. Give up."

"Yeah, you don't wanna find another one of _those_,do ya?"

Demyx sighed. "No, not really… But, it's just, this is the first world I've been to in a long time, and all the girls dress so…" he trailed off. "And Larxene's the only girl I'm ever around constantly, although I don't really _want _to be around her. It's hard to control my flirtatious behavior."

"It's okay, Demyx," Luxord consoled. "Just do this later. The ending to that movie really let me down, and I don't want to be annoyed by you."

"Yeah, whatever." Demyx's head drooped. "Sowwy fow annoying youuuuu… Wiww you evah fowgive meee?" he pouted, in a mocking manner. Luxord just looked at him and shook his head.

"Dude, why are you part of the Organization again?" Xigbar asked.

Demyx straightened up and stuck his finger in the air to explain. "Because I was one of the few Nobodies that were able to keep their physical form!"

"I don't see how. You're such a child," Luxord told him.

"Yeah, but you know you love me!" Demyx lunged at the elder blonde and hugged him from behind. Luxord, surprised, went rigid at the first contact, causing the two to fall over, with Xigbar laughing at them both. Demyx turned into a giggling mass, while still holding onto Luxord's waist, and lying on top of his back. After the first few seconds of shock, Luxord was able to comprehend what exactly happened: Demyx 'glomped' him. 'OMG! LUXORD/DEMYXLOVE!' cheered the fangirls. No, it's not like that, you perverts.

"Demyx…" he spoke through gritted teeth. "I don't love you, at all… We're Nobodies. Now, get off of me," Number X said, still trying to retain his calm composure.

"We can too love, because you love me! And I'm not letting you go until you say so!" Demyx joked, while making his hold on Luxord's waist even tighter and snuggling the side of his head into the middle of the other's back.

"Don't _do _**that**!" he said to Demyx, sounding slightly disgusted. Luxord tried so squirm away from the younger Nobody, but succeeded only at making Xigbar laugh even harder.

"O, Luxord! I think he's got a thing for you!" Xigbar joked, holding his stomach from laughter. Luxord gave him a dirty look and Demyx just grinned.

"No, I don't have a thing for Little Luxy, here. I just want him to admit that he loves me, because we both know that he d--" he was cut off by Luxord elbowing his throat. "Mother_fuck_! What was **that **for?" he asked incredulously.

"Take a guess. Now, let go of my waist or I'll hit you again," Luxord commanded, while trying to remain being a gentleman. He was failing at it; he did, after all, just elbow Demyx's throat!

"Demyx, I think it'd be a good idea to let go of him… He's looking pretty pissy.." Xigbar told the younger Nobody, slowly. Demyx looked up at the back of Luxord's head with his mouth open. Though he couldn't see his face, he could tell Luxord was furious or very, _very _irritated, for his body was shaking with rage/annoyance. Even though Nobodies can't be angry, ya know.

"Ummm… Yeah, I think that's a good idea…" Demyx instantly released Luxord and jumped off of him. Luxord continued laying on the ground, though. Xigbar and Demyx eyed each other questioningly, as if thinking the other would know what he was doing. So Xigbar asked.

"Dude… what are you doing down there?"

"I'm savoring my freedom," was Luxord's simple reply. After getting up, they made their way back to the apartment, which was empty. Sa­ïx had obviously not returned yet. Being the card-loving Brit that he was, Luxord made a suggestion. "Anybody up for a game of cawds?"

Xigbar saw a devious twinkle in his eye. "What game?" he asked suspiciously. Demyx was playing Minesweeper on Xigbar's computer, and losing every time, because, let's face it, _nobody _wins at that game. Unless it's on Easy Mode.

"O… just Strip Poker… I want to get a picture of Demyx to show to the rest of the Organization… Sort of, revenge, in a way, for him… doing what he did to me… earlier," he said slowly. Xigbar smirked.

"It's a good plan," he said, glancing over to make sure Demyx was still busy with the computer. "But, I don't know how to play poker… But I play a mean game of Go Fish!" Xigbar stated with evident pride.

Luxord thought for a moment. "I'm sure we can work something out. I'll go get my table!" he said before rushing off to his bedroom to get the table.

"But… there's a table… over there…" Xigbar said slowly, trailing off. Luxord came back quickly, though.

"Got it!"

Demyx looked away from the computer, then looked back. "Hey, guys, what's the table for?" he asked, still trying to beat Minesweeper.

"O, we're gonna play cawds. Wanna play?" Luxord asked, smiling.

"Depends what game," the younger Nobody replied, finally giving up on Minesweeper.

"We're gonna play Go Fish!" Xigbar told him, rather cheerfully.

"Sweet!" Demyx said, pulling the computer chair over to where Luxord had set up the table.

"Yer really gonna play, right, dude? Not gonna pull out are ya?" Xigbar asked, suppressing his oncoming giggles, and ignoring the fact that what he just said had a double meaning. Double entendre'd! (Yes, Xigbar had the giggles.)

"Of course I'm gonna play," Demyx said, rolling his eyes. "I love Go Fish. I'm grrrrrrreat at it, just like Frosted Flakes™."

"Okay, then. Let's start the game, Luxy," said The Freeshooter, taking a seat on one side of the table.

"All right. This is a different kind of Go Fish, though, Demyx. The stakes are higher. Since you already said you'd play, there's no going back," Luxord began to explain, while shuffling his cards effortlessly. "See, Demyx, this is Strip Go Fish." When he said that, Demyx's eyes immediately bugged out and he started panicking. "Whenever one of us gets a set of cawds, they get to choose who takes off a garment of clothing. We keep playing through the cawds until one of us is… Well, I'll leave the rest up to your imagination," he finished, grinning maliciously.

"This is just a way of getting back at me for glomping you in public, isn't it?"

Luxord simply nodded in answer, still smiling, still shuffling.

"Fuck."

**Twenty Minutes Later. Yes, they were dragging it out to torture Demyx.**

Demyx was sitting on his side of the table, shivering. Luxord and Xigbar had stripped him of most everything he owned… wore. Yes. Demyx had been forced to strip down to nothing but a pair of black boxers with little blue Nobody symbols on them. Luxord was only missing his black button-up shirt and Xigbar was fully clothed. It was still the first game of Go Fish, and it was Demyx's turn.

"He-Hey Luxord… ya got any, twos?" he asked, knowing immediately what the answer was going to be.

"Go. Fish." Demyx whined, reached for the cards, and picked up a seven. Luxord's turn.

"Demyx, do you have any sevens?" Luxord asked, unable to keep from grinning. Demyx's eyes went wide, face blank. He handed the seven he just picked up over to Luxord. "That means, take 'em off."

"Bu-But… This is so gay!" Demyx whined.

"As if! We're not gonna look, we're just gonna take a bunch of pictures and slip them under all the other member's doors. We've got it _aaaalllll _planned out, little buddy," Xigbar told him. "So, strip. Luxord's got the camera."

Just then, to Demyx's great relief, just as he was pulling his boxers off, the door flew open. Sa­ïx walked in and screamed, seeing what Demyx was doing.

"What the Hell is going on here!" he screamed in surprise. This was the first time they'd ever heard Sa­ïx scream, so they were all in a state of shock. "I said, what are you all doing!"

"Uh--um---uhhhhh…" was all Demyx could muster, trying to cover himself up. Luxord and Xigbar started laughing hysterically.

"I knew you were all gay!" he yelled, turning on his heel and beginning to walk back out the door he had just come through.

"No, Sa­ïx! Wait!" Luxord said, still laughing, while going over to him and grabbing his shoulder. Sa­ïx cringed at his touch, thinking that they were all performing some kind of sick sexual ritual on Demyx. Ya know, instead of just playing Strip Go Fish.

"Don't _touch _me!" he shrieked. Luxord, shocked at first, then started laughing. Hearing Sa­ïx shriek could really brighten up anyone's day.

"No! We're not doing anything perverse, or whatever it is you're thinking," the blonde said, trying to explain. "We're just playing Strip Go Fish! Xigbar and I are going to take pictures of Demyx… you know… naked, and then give the pictures to other Organization members!"

Sa­ïx's face cleared of all shock and fear and disgust, and went back to it's normal apathetic self. Yes, his face has a 'self'. "Well, that doesn't sound… too bad. As long as I don't get one of the pictures, that is."

"Of course!" Luxord said with a cheery British grin. They walked back into the apartment and Luxord picked up his brand new, digital camera off of the floor by the chair he was sitting in previously.

"No! NOOooooooOOOOOO!" Demyx whined/screamed. He had backed up to the sliding glass door, and started fidgeting with the door handle, trying to escape onto the balcony. "Don't do this to me, guys… I don't deserve _iiiiiiiiit_…!" He finally got the door open and went out onto the balcony, as Luxord and Xigbar drew ever nearer, snapping pictures as they went.

"This is some good stuff!" Xigbar said, while taking a picture of Demyx near the edge of the balcony, blocking his face with his arms and lifting a leg up, as protection? He kept squealing whenever a new picture was taken.

"I couldn't agree with you more," Luxord said, gleefully, while taking the camera from his new partner in crime and snapping another shot of Demyx, this time on the floor of the balcony, up against the railing, forehead resting on his knees with his arms wrapped around himself. "O, yes, this is good revenge."

"Stop, you guys!" he screamed.

"Luxord, Xigbar, stop. You're going to make him cry," Sa­ïx said, mockingly, and not without a smirk of his own. The two sighed, but backed off from their prey. Demyx looked up, tears in his eyes.

"O, stop yer crying! You know we don't have feelings. We're _Nobodies_!" Xigbar said to him, before walking off of the balcony and to the computer, to play Minesweeper.

"I can't help it!" Demyx said in his own defense, while wiping the tears out of his eyes. Aww, Demyx was almost crying. He stood up and walked past Luxord, to where he was at the table and grabbed his pants, and put them on. "You guys are assholes, I hate you all…" he mumbled.

Luxord took a picture of him putting his pants on. "These are going to be great to print out. You know that Axel will never let you live this down, right?"

"I know…" Demyx drooped, then picked up his belt and put it on, followed by his shirt.

"Aw, little Demyx is pouty!" teased Xigbar.

"Leave me alone! I'm gonna lock myself in the bathroom! Don't be surprised if I'm not alive in the morning!" he said and stormed off to the bathroom (to the right of the closet mentioned in the last chapter), and locked the door.

"Wow, you guys are horrible!" Xigbar said and then went back to his game of Minesweeper. Luxord and Sa­ïx both gave him 'WTF?' looks and each went to do whatever. As you can see, the author is too lazy to type what they were doing. Ah Hell. Luxord went to play Solitaire in his room and Sa­ïx sat down on the couch and started reading some random book that appeared out of nowhere. Happy?

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Just a few minutes after storming off into the bathroom, Demyx came out and had a renewed smile on his face. "Hey guys, what's new?" he said, strangely chipper.

"Ummm… no?" Xigbar said; he'd been trying to beat that stupid Minesweeper game the whole time the younger Nobody had been in the bathroom. "What are you so happy about?" Sa­ïx gave Demyx a queer (not gay, queer as in strange or different) look.

"Nothing. I'm always happy! Or, I would be if I wasn't a Nobody," he said, explaining his demeanor. "Emotions aside, what are we gonna do tonight? Ya know, it's your last night in the city. Might as well do something fun!"

"Actually, I was thinking of going to this lovely bar," Luxord said, coming out of the bedroom and putting his cards into his back pocket. "May as well consume all the alcohol I can while still enjoying my life… well, my non-existing life… If that makes sense."

"No, it doesn't make sense… But what a great idea it is!" Demyx said brightly. "Let me just get my boots on and I'll be ready to go-ooo!" he said, going around the room and picking up his socks and boots.

"Demyx, what are you up to?" Sa­ïx said without looking up from his random book.

"Nothing!" he replied, getting defensive. Couldn't he just be 'happy' anymore?

"Whatever." Demyx found all his foot-dressings and plopped down on the couch next to Sa­ïx and started putting them on. "Do you have to sit so close to me when you do that?" he asked Demyx, still not looking up from his book.

"Hey, you're lucky I didn't glomp you, like I did to Luxord!" he responded, smiling.

"Yeah, it was pretty goddamn hilarious!" Xigbar told him, standing up from his game and walking over to the door. "So, we ready?"

"One, it was not funny. And two, yes. Let me just grab my shirt," Luxord said, as he had not yet put his black button-up back on yet. He grabbed the shirt and started putting it on and buttoning it up, while they were leaving the apartment.

* * *

Well, that chapter was strange. Right? I thought it was. Hehe.

Review if ya would. I'd love you for forever.

**Next chapter: **On the way to the bar, and at the bar. And possibly karaoke. But only from one Nobody; can ya guess whom? Maybe another, but I don't know… It won't be out until next week, most likely, though. And the story will end shortly after that. Sowwy. I'm running out of ideas and don't wanna stretch anything out anymore; ya know, to the point where everything's gone retarded and there's no point in writing anymore. But I gotta finish, so I'll be ending soon. Thanks. Goo'bye.


	6. Tummy Aches? And The Beehive

Mmmm… Chapter Six. Emo bashing (sort of), blood, and many appearances of the curse word 'fuck'.

And, I wanted to thank everyone. 1,100 hits on _Missing Cards_, and 500+ on this. Thanks. :D

**torrential: **Makes me happy that that part made you laugh. Thanks for reviewing.

**Scylla Desdemonia Ophelia: **Of course! Demyx is just too… giddy to be emo! Hmmm… Never really thought of Luxord being Dulor; I actually thought more along the lines of Lurod or Rould/Ruold. It really cooks my muffins knowing the glomping made you laugh. Don't ask about that muffin thing right there…

**Guavi: **Yeah! Screw whatever the world says! Yeah, I figured you meant one-thousand and not ten. I saw someone with a blue mohawk on Saturday while shopping for school supplies, and it made me giggle. It's hard not to stare at stuff like that, though. Of course I have to put 'cawds' in. It's basically my trademark; well, not really, but I'll say it is! lmao! My ex-friend said I looked like the chick from _The Ring_, too, when it was raining and he was flashing a lighter on and off. That freaked me out. Back when that movie still scared me. But, I'm rambling. I tend to do that, as you most likely noticed from my e-mails and such. Fun talking to you! And thank you so much for the link to the _Chain of Memories_ manga!

**Fuhrer Allie: **I replied to this in an e-mail, but I just wanted to say thank you! And I really have fun talking to you and such. Why'd I type talking when we're not really talking? Gotta love rhetorical questions.

**two-bite-brownies: **Knowing you love my story makes my day! Well, part of it. It made me happy, at the least. Glad that you think it's one of the better Luxord stories. :D Of course I have to write more; I don't want to leave an unfinished story, just because I hate it so much when people do that! Grr. Anyways, thanks!

You caught me. I really do own _Kingdom Hearts_ and anything _Kingdom Hearts_ related. **Out of character characters!** Stupid thing won't let me add rulers! Grr!

**- - -**

We last left off with everyone's four favorite Nobodies (well, not really), Luxord, Xigbar, Demyx, and Sa­ïx, leaving the apartment and going on their way to a bar. But, this is no ordinary bar they're going to: it's a bar with culture! Shall I explain? Yes, of course I shall! The bar is a coffee shop, too. So there are a bunch of emo kids, too, and not just a bunch of lushes. That should make it interesting for certain Nobodies. As I was typing, the foursome were on their way to the bar.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Luxord just finished buttoning up his shirt as they stepped out of the elevator on the ground floor. As they stepped out of the elevator, some random college girls were checking Demyx out, so he winked at them in return. "Demyx, stop. You're calling too much attention to us. It's suspicious," Luxord told him.

The younger blonde looked at him with a pout on his face. "But, Luxy, it's not my fault I'm so sexy. They just seem to be drawn to me…"

"If you are so sexy, then why did so many of 'em hit you with their purses earlier?" Xigbar asked, looking behind him to make the comment to Demyx. The Melodious Nocturne just crossed his arms and scoffed in answer., and was silent for some length of time bordering on five minutes. Then he spoke.

"So, uh, Luxord, Xigbar, where exactly are we going?" he asked.

Luxord turned to look at him. "We're going to this bar called 'The Beehive', but it's a combination coffee house thing, for **kids **like you. It's on the Southside."

"But that's all the way that way!" Demyx said, pointing to 'the Southside'. "Do we gotta cross another bridge to get to it?" he whined.

"Be quiet, Number IX," Sa­ïx mumbled. "You're giving me a headache."

"We don't get headaches, Sa­ïx! You know that! 'We are impervious to physical pains, such as fatigue and tummy aches'!" Demyx recited. "Or, at least that's what the manual says, I think," he said, while pulling out of his back pocket, the back pocket version of 'The Manual'. He opened it up to Chapter Four, Section C, Column Three. "Yeah, right here. That's exactly what it says!"

"Tummy aches?" Luxord asked skeptically.

"Yes! It says 'tummy aches'!" Demyx replied.

"Okay…"

"How'd we get to this topic again?" asked The Freeshooter.

"I don't know… But if you scroll up a few lines, you can find out!" Demyx said gleefully, as if he thought what he said was delightfully clever or something.

Luxord scrolled up a few lines and read back over the conversation. "O, yes, I remember. It had to do with Sa­ïx saying he had a head ache," he pointed out.

"O yeah…" Xigbar and Demyx said in unison. The small group of Nobody's walked in silence for a few minutes. Then, Sa­ïx broke the silence.

"Why don't we just use a portal to get there? This unnecessary walk is taking too long for my liking," he said. The other three shrugged.

"Well, actually… I don't exactly know why!" Luxord said nervously, his fear of Sa­ïx shining through.

"Then one of you two open one up. Since only you two know the way," he commanded.

"Good idea, Sa­ïx! I always knew you were smart!" Demyx cheered him, as Luxord opened a portal and they all walked through.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Just like with the portal that landed Sa­ïx and Demyx _in_ Pittsburgh, the portal that led to The Beehive opened in an alley, a block down from their destination. There were a few drunk homeless people that started yelling stuff about 'people coming out of walls' and 'it's the government's fault' in the alley, but they were disposed of immediately, by cards cutting their necks open, spilling their blood over the asphalt of the alley. What a pleasant surprise.

"Luxord, you're a jerk!" Demyx hissed at the card-throwing Brit.

"What ever are you talking about, Demyx?" he asked, shocked and seemingly hurt.

"What do you think I'm talking about? You just killed five innocent people, that smelled like piss, but that's beside the point, and you did it for no reason!" he exclaimed loudly, tossing his hands in the air.

"Don't even pretend to care," Luxord retorted calmly and carelessly. "Besides, as far as I care, I was doing all of them, and the world, a favor," he said, shrugging him off.

"And how do you figure that?" Xigbar asked, crossing his arms and turning to Luxord

"Well, just think. With them being dead, their lives won't get any worse than they already were, **and** the world is less populated and there's less alcohol being consumed by them," he explained further. "You know, even though it _was_ only just cheap beer that they drank."

"You always have an excuse," Sa­ïx told him, before turning and walking out of the alley. "Now, which way is this place you wanted to take us to?"

Xigbar emerged by Sa­ïx's side, outside of the alley. "Well, ya see those big blue and green and orange funky letters?" he asked while pointing to their left where an overhang said 'The Beehive', and Sa­ïx nodded. "That's where we're going."

Sa­ïx snorted. "It looks tacky."

"You sound like Larxene, man!" Xigbar said while clapping him on the shoulder. "I promise you, it's not as bad as it looks from the outside. Plus, they've got the best lattés _and _vodka in town!" Sa­ïx shrugged Xigbar's hand off of his shoulder.

"Don't touch me, Number II," he said simply, before making his way towards The Beehive.

"Whatever, man," Xigbar said to himself (since Sa­ïx wasn't listening), before going after him. Luxord and Demyx looked at each other and shrugged, before following suit. The four Nobodies walked down the street and entered the restaurant. Inside, on the right was a (strangely clean) bar, with classic bar stools lining the front of it. To the left was a large sitting area, some tables closer to the front, and a pool table, but more towards the back were couches and arm chairs and coffee tables. This was where the emo/goth kids sat at. At the very back of the restaurant was a small stage, where a girl, that looked curiously similar to the one Sa­ïx told to kill her self, sat on a stool reading tragic teenage poetry.

"_This _is the 'lovely bar' you wanted to take us too?" Sa­ïx asked incredulously. "Do you know how much I can't stand 'emo' kids? Half of the whole goddamn restaurant is emo kids," he said monotonously. Funny how Sa­ïx can be aggravated, but still remain completely calm.

"I'm sorry?" Luxord asked. "But, hey, it's as Xigbar here said, they've got the best lattés and whiskey in town." He then walked over to the bar and sat down on a bar stool, near the end closest to the door. Sa­ïx did the same and sat down next to him. Xigbar, still standing next to Demyx, shrugged (there seems to be a lot of that going on in this chapter) at the musician and also sat down at the bar, on the other side of Luxord.

Demyx, instead of sitting down at the bar, trotted his silly little self over to the couch in front of the stage and listened to the emo and goth kids read their depressing poetry, and watched some random lush go up onto stage and try to sing a horrible rendition of Michael Jackson's _Thriller_. He tried to stifle his laughter at the horrible misuse of words in the poetry, and the way the drunk accidentally squeezed himself too hard, when he grabbed his crotch. Yeah, Demyx's whole 'not laughing' plan didn't work. Instead, he burst out into a fit of giggles, right when some random emo girl was ending her limerick about life being meaningless and dull. He was wondering how you could possibly write a limerick about that, but somehow she pulled it off. Wait, no, limericks are supposed to be funny. O, yeah, it all fits. Other emo and goth kids eyed him evilly as he sat on the couch, doubled over in hysterical laughter, then, instead of giggles.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're laughing at!" the girl on stage screamed at Demyx. "What's so funny, fag-boy!"

"Yo--heh! Your po--poetry!" he stuttered out through laughter, while holding his stomach.

"What's so _fucking_ funny about my _fucking life_?" she screamed, saying each curse word as if she'd never said it before in her life.

Demyx settled down a little and replied. "Maybe it's the fact that your life is really, heheh, not that bad."

"How do _you_ know?" she pouted, bringing out a razorblade and slashing her wrist open, while she was still standing on the stage. Demyx gaped at this display, but was still smiling. She cut her wrist a few more times, until there was a small puddle of blood, pooling around the microphone stand, on the stage.

"Wow, your life _must_ suck if you want to do that," he told her sarcastically, just before she fainted from blood loss. The audience clapped at the graphic display of blood. A member of the stage crew walked onto the stage and dragged the girl's body off.

"Hey! Denise! Can we get a mop and bucket up here?" he called to a girl at the edge of the bar, drinking a cappuccino. "One of the little fuckers decided to off herself on stage again," he indicated with his thumb to the pool of blood, when the girl, Denise, looked up.

"What the _fuck_?" she asked, her face becoming contorted with anger. "Why the _fuck_ do they have to come here and kill themselves? Can't they go to _fucking_ **Starbucks**?" she asked herself, while picking up the mop and bucket that were so conveniently placed by stage, in case of emergency. Yes, the cursing is deliberate and for comical purposes only. _Focus is back on the three Nobodies at the bar_.

Luxord sipped his martini. "So, it looks as if Demyx got one of the emo kids to kill herself." Xigbar averted his eyes from the barmaid's bust, and looked at Luxord, without turning his head.

"Yip." He took a small swallow of his screwdriver.

"Tell me," Sa­ïx said, downing his shot of whiskey, "does this sort of thing happen often here?"

"Pretty much," replied the Brit, quite apathetically, might I add.

"O. Okay, then. Miss," Sa­ïx said to the woman serving drinks, "I'd like a full bottle of your highest quality whiskey."

"Do you know how much that costs?" she asked him.

"It doesn't matter. I can pay," he replied, handing her a fifty. "Keep any change." With that, she brought him what he asked for. "This is going to be a long night," he said, to no one in particular, while taking a long drink of the alcoholic beverage.

"You know you can't get drunk off of that, dude, right?" Xigbar asked.

"I know. But the alcohol comforts my nerves." _Back to Demyx._

He was currently checking out Denise, as she cleaned up the spilt blood. Then he turned his excitement to his 'friends'. He ran over to them, and stopped by Xigbar, and started talking to them. "Hey, guys, did you just see what I did and/or caused to happen?" he asked, enthusiastically while grinning.

"Yes, I'm sure everyone in the restaurant saw what you just did and/or caused to happen," Luxord replied, bored.

"Dude, that was great! I'm so proud of you! Growing up to be just like old Xigbar," said Number II, while 'pounding it' with Demyx and pretending to wipe a tear of joy from the corner of his eye.

"Yes. Of course. We all saw it. Now leave," Sa­ïx said, waving Demyx off.

"Sa­ïx, you don't always have to be such an ass to me," Demyx told him, crossing his arms. "Besides, I think I'm gonna do karaoke anyway!" Sa­ïx choked on his whiskey. "Yeah, I'm excited, too, Sa­ïx!" he said, before running over to Denise, who'd just sat down by her cappuccino again. He said something to her, and she smiled while nodding; then he pranced onto the stage.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to hate him in about three seconds?" Sa­ïx asked the other two Nobodies he was sitting with.

"Because you are," Luxord replied easily. Sa­ïx sighed and took another swig of his whiskey.

Demyx positioned himself on stage, and smiled at the three figures sitting at the bar, not facing him. _Don't worry, guys, you'll be paying attention soon enough,_ he thought and then smirked. He looked at Denise as she gave him the thumb's up, signaling his song was set to play, and he smiled at her. Just before the music started, Demyx made a short speech.

"Hey, everybody! Can I have your attention, please?" he said rather loudly into the microphone. The audience, including Xigbar, looked at him, with mild interest. "Yeah, I just wanted to say that this song is dedicated to my hope and my inspiration, my good friend Sa­ïx." The mentioned Nobody gripped his bottle of whiskey tightly, and glanced at Demyx out of the corner of his eye, while the boy on stage had both Luxord and Xigbar's full attention. "Though, I'm hoping that after this song, we'll be _more_ than just good friends…" Demyx grinned sheepishly at the audience, where there was a resounding "Awww" heard, and then he glanced at Sa­ïx and smirked. Luxord and Xigbar just grinned back at him. Sa­ïx, though, was gripping the bottle so tightly that it burst and the woman attending the bar had to bring him a new one. "Yeah, so this song is for Sa­ïx, the blue-haired hottie sitting at the bar!" Demyx said, while pointing. He winked at Denise who then started the music. The beginning of _Why Can't I?_ by Liz Phair began to play.

Demyx started singing.

"_Get a load of me, get a load of you  
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you (hardly know you)  
It's just like we were meant to be,"_ he sang, while moving slightly with the music and making the proper facial expressions.

At the bar, Sa­ïx sat, glaring at the counter-top. Luxord patted him on the back. "Hey, cheer up! At least we don't have feelings so you can't be embarrassed!" he consoled.

"I don't give a _fuck_!" Sa­ïx spat at him.

"Temper, temper mate," the blonde replied, while taking a sip of his martini.

"_Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it."_

"Yeah, man. You shouldn't even care. You don't have anger, and you can't be embarrassed, like Luxy already said," Xigbar told him.

"And I already said that that _I don't give a **fuck**_!"

"Psht. Whatever. But, hey… ya know what the worst part of this is?" Xigbar asked the other two, as Luxord looked at him in response. "The worst part is, is that he makes that song sound good," he said, and then started cackling manically.

"_Here we go, we're at the beginning  
We haven't fucked yet, but my head's spinning _

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you."

"I'm going to fucking kill him," Sa­ïx mumbled to himself, while taking a long drink of the whiskey he ordered. "That's what I'm going to do, kill him."

"_Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you? _

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me-  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? (whenever I think about you, whenever I think about you, whenever I think about you, whenever I think about you...)"

Demyx finished, receiving loads of applause from the audience. He bowed and walked over to Sa­ïx, smiling happily. He got down on one knee and looked up at Sa­ïx. "Sa­ïx, I've always wanted to say this, but, had kept it inside for so long. Right now, just seems like the right time to ask it, though… Sa­ïx, will you be my boyfriend?" Sa­ïx immediately tried to break his bottle of whiskey on Demyx's head, but he dodged the swing of the bottle and laughed. "I was gonna sing that to Xigbar, but I figured you would be even madder than him, and you'd be easier to bother, so I dedicated it to you, Sa­ïx!" he said, gleefully.

"I hate you. Burn in Hell." was all Sa­ïx said to him.

"O dear, I think I pissed him off, guys!" Demyx said, while striking a clueless position. "I wonder how I ever did that…"

"Let's think, Demyx, it could be because you sang that horrid song to him, in front of a crowd of emo kids and drunks," Luxord stated.

Demyx sat down by Xigbar for a short while. "That was great, man! Right now, you're probably my favorite member of Organization XIII!" Xigbar told him.

"Great!"

"I'm just glad you didn't sing anything to me, dude. I woulda shot cher ass, while you were still on stage," he said, grinning.

"O--Oo… That's… Okay…" Demyx replied. "Actually… that was really fun… I think I might do it again! Yeah! I'm gonna go sing more karaoke!" he said, before, once again, prancing off to the stage. He knocked the emo boy that was up there off of the stage, and onto a table where he broke a ceramic mug and was impaled in the kidney by the shards. He started screaming, and howling in pain, before being dragged out of the restaurant by the previous stage hand, to die in the street. Demyx sat down on the stool, stuck his had in the air, and his sitar appeared. He then started a new speech.

"Hey, everybody, it's me again. I'm here to play another song for all of ya, so appreciate it!" he said into the microphone. Luxord and Xigbar turned to look at him, along with the rest of the audience. "This song, I'd like to dedicate to Luxord, mainly, but also sort of Xigbar." The two mentioned Nobodies' eyes enlarged and their jaws hung agape, while staring at Demyx. Sa­ïx turned to look at Luxord and Xigbar; his mood lightened somewhat, at the thought of the two being shamed as much as he had been. Something different happened. He started strumming the opening chords to the song he was about to play, and kept repeating them while finishing. "Yeah, I just wanted this song to go out to them, because they, mainly Luxord, just wanted to get away from home. But we'd really like them both back home," he said, completely serious, for once in his existance. Then, he started to sing.

"_She got out of town  
On a railway New York bound  
Took all except my name  
Another alien on Broadway _

There's some things in this world  
You just can't change  
Some things you can't see  
Until it gets too late

Baby, baby, baby  
When all your love is gone  
Who will save me  
From all I'm up against out in this world  
And maybe, maybe, maybe  
You'll find something  
That's enough to keep you  
But if the bright lights don't receive you  
You should turn yourself around  
And come on home."

"Hey, Sa­ïx, our song's better than yours," Xigbar teased, and was flipped off. They were silent through part of the next verse until Xigbar spoke again. "Did you guys ever wonder how he can play so many songs, when he's only got three cords on his damn sitar?"

"All the time," was Luxord's reply.

"_Let that city take you in  
Let that city spit you out  
Let that city take you down  
For God's sake turn around _

Baby, baby, baby  
When all your love is gone  
Who will save me  
From all I'm up against out in this world  
and Maybe, maybe, maybe  
You'll find something  
That's enough to keep you  
But if the bright lights don't receive you  
You should turn yourself around  
And come on home

Yeah, come on home  
Baby, baby, baby, baby  
Come on home  
Yeah, come on home  
Yeah, come on home  
Yeah, come on home  
Baby, baby, baby, baby  
Come on home."

He finished the song and hopped off stage, sitar disappearing as he did so. Demyx ran over to the bar and plopped down on the stool next to Xigbar. "So, how'd you two like your song?"

"You played a song that I actually ended up liking," Luxord told him, while finishing off his martini. "I'll have another, please," he told the woman, who immediately prepared it for him. He took the olive and toothpick out of his drink and sucked on it (the olive) for a few seconds before talking to Demyx. "So, why'd you do that, Demyx?"

"I dunno! Just felt like it! I want you guys back at the castle, anyways. There's nobody to play **cawds** with, anymore!" he replied.

"Would you like anything, sir?" the woman at the counter asked Demyx.

"Uh, just a caramel cappuccino, that's all. Double-shot of flavor, please," he said politely. She quickly fetched it for him, and he licked the foam off the top once he got it.

"Demyx, you're a weird kid," Xigbar told him, and then took a long drink of his screwdriver.

"Yesh, I know. But you still love me!" he replied, taking a drink of his cappuccino and burning his tongue on it. "_Fuck me in a taxi cab_! _That's freaking **hot**_!" he screamed, but then settled down, ordering a glass of ice to accompany the cappuccino. "So, you guys liked the song I played?" The two nodded. "Good!"

"I hope you know, Demyx, that just because we liked the song, this doesn't mean we're not going to send out those pictures anymore. We're still going to," Luxord assured him, before biting the olive off the toothpick and eating it.

"Aww, jeez, man…" Demyx pouted. "This is gonna be a long night…" And so, it was. Demyx sang more songs on stage, such as _The Bad Touch_ and _So Yesterday_. Xigbar sang some songs, too, mainly to spite Luxord, who would not spot him twenty dollars for more booze. O, yeah, his songs were _Just the Girl_ and _London Bridge_ (Fergie's new accursed song that can drive even the strongest person insane; my ears bleed, but I digress). Sa­ïx mainly kept to himself and his drinking the rest of the night; wishing so badly that he was home at Castle Oblivion, snuggled up by his fireplace, reading a touching romance novel, all the while drinking a fat-free, sugar-free smoothie. By the end of the night (and chapter), everyone thought that there was Luxord/Xigbar and Sa­ïx/Demyx lovin' goin' on.

- - -

Hmmm… Only took me five hours. Hope you liked it. Sorry if reading 'fuck' so many times bothered you. It was mostly for humor, and making fun of how much people actually say it, especially when it's not needed in a sentence. Yeah, like it ever _is_ needed.

Review if ya would.

**S****ongs (mentioned and 'sung'):**

_Thriller_--Michael Jackson

_Why Can't I?_--Liz Phair

_Bright Lights_--Matchbox 20 (It's on TV right now! I've been wishing for this all day!)

_The Bad Touch_--Bloodhound Gang

_So Yesterday_--Hillary Duff

_Just the Girl_--The Click Five

_London Bridge_--Fergie

Yes, Fergie's song **_is _**as terrible as described in the chapter. Yes, it **_does _**make me want to be like the girl on stage that killed herself. Yes, it **_will _**make your ears bleed.

I just recently started thinking that Demyx would sing Matchbox 20, so I put it in the story. Do ya'll approve? 'Cause I think it fits him a whole lot better than Fall Out Boy (I've seen him sing that in stories). No offense; I love Fall Out Boy, in fact, I'm listening to them right now. I just think Matchbox 20 fits him more. Okay. Done! Bye:D

PS. The Beehive is real, but it's not like described. It's just a coffee house, not a bar, as far as I know. And it _is _on the Southside of Pittsburgh. Yeah.

PPS/PSS (whichever). No, I do not mean any offense to any emo kid that happens to stumble upon this story. Nothing was meant to offend; however, I'm not sorry if you did get offended. So there. Sorry if lyrics are wrong, too.


	7. OMG! It's Sonny Moore! No More Music!

Okay… for some reason, I have _Naughty Girl_ by Beyoncé stuck in my head, and it's killing my brain cells. And that's why this chapter may or may not suck.

**Fuhrer Allie: **That thing with the boxers still kills me. xD Exactly! It's _always_ the government's fault! Well, we gotta get rid of the annoying emo kids somehow. Might as well have Demyx do it; besides, he makes it all funnier. :D

**Guavi: **I was debating with myself since Friday for what song to use, and I figured that one was the best I'd come up with. Though, I was originally going to have Demyx sing to Xigbar, but whatever. lmao! Actually, I was going to somehow make Axel pop up in the chapter, but figured that I shouldn't… but Zexion showing up. Damn, that idea was great.

**Takarifan101:** Heh, thanks. Happy to know that you like it so much. Yeah, Luxord's weapon is freaking sweet. Who else uses cawds? I'm pretty sure there was someone in _Chrono Cross_ that did_…_ but I'm not sure… lol No, it's not a yaoi story. That was just my semi-crack chapter, where everything sort of goes screwy. I'll check your stories out after I look at Xinck's and when I'm done with my own. I already owe it to Xinck, since he asked last week or sometime, I think?

**Scylla Desdemonia Ophelia: **lmao! Of course you can use it. It's not like it's copyrighted or anything… but maybe that's a good idea. xD Yes! That's awesome. Nice to know my story has inspired artwork. :D Emo kids are fun to draw; I love drawing them!

**EliasDaemonwing: **Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you like my story and think it's great and stuff.

Screw disclaimers! **Out of characterness is sold here!**

**- - -**

Last chapter, we left off with all the readers thinking that maybe this really was a yaoi. Silly readers. The author's just having fun with her story and making the characters act all weird-like and stuff. The four Nobodies made their way home (through a portal, and this time ended up _in_ the apartment, instead of in a conveniently placed alley).

**Sleeping arrangements:**

Luxord slept in his room, because he demanded his privacy. Sa­ïx slept on the couch, for he would not be demoted to sleeping on the floor. Xigbar and Demyx both slept on floor, but about ten feet apart. Demyx by the sliding glass door, and Xigbar by the front door.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

At about eight-thirty the next morning, Sa­ïx woke up. He was still pissed at Demyx for what he did last night at the bar, so he decided he'd wake him up in a very special manner. Getting up from the couch he slept on, he looked around and saw Demyx, curled up in a ball with his back to the glass door, leaning against it. He made his way around Xigbar, who was in a strange, sprawled out position, half-way hugging the end of the couch. Sa­ïx gave a disgusted grunt as he stepped over The Freeshooter.

He then walked over to Demyx's sleeping form. The Luna Diviner looked down at the younger Nobody, who was sleeping peacefully with a serene look on his face. Instead of making a look complete adoration like any fangirl would, Sa­ïx's face became contorted with a malicious grin. He slowly raised his right foot behind him, savoring the moment when he would punish Demyx, and then brought that same foot forward, right into the musician's stomach. Demyx's eyes shot open and a look of pain came onto his face.

"_Hn_!" he 'said', when the foot first connected. "What the _fuck--ing Hell_!" he squealed, as Sa­ïx kicked him again, and then a third time before the Nobody that was being kicked grabbed his boot. "What the Hell do _you_ _think_ you're _doing_?"

"Was I doing something you didn't approve of, Demyx?" Sa­ïx asked, trying to sound clueless, but failing miserably. Come on! It's **Sa­ïx**, the only way he _can_ sound is apathetic! He then wrenched his foot out of the blonde's grip and kicked him in the knee. Demyx screamed in pain, waking Xigbar, who was still dazed from sleep.

"What the Hell…" he said, drowsily. He then registered what was going on when he saw Sa­ïx stomping on Demyx. "Holy Hell!" he exclaimed, getting up from the floor and pulling Sa­ïx away from Demyx.

"Let me go! Let me go, you old, stupid bastard!" Sa­ïx yelled, trying to struggle away.

"As if! And, _I'm not that old_!" Xigbar roared in response, throwing the other into the couch, and stomping on his stomach. Sa­ïx's eyes got large and rolled back in his head slightly, as he made a noise that sounded similar to a cat when it's getting ready to vomit. "That's right, you _never _cross your superiors," he said triumphantly, as Sa­ïx leaned forward gripping his stomach. Just then, Luxord emerged from his room, looking as though he hadn't been asleep at all (that means he looked well-groomed and clean), while the other three had mussed up hair and wrinkled clothes.

"What's going on?" he asked, surprised at all the noise. He looked from Sa­ïx holding his stomach and hunched forward, to Demyx (also clutching his stomach, and knee!), looking like a kicked puppy. (Fangirls: Aww, poor Demy!) And finally he looked at Xigbar, just standing in the middle of the room smirking. "What'd you do?" he asked, slowly, wide-eyed.

"Nuffiiiiing," the elder Nobody said innocently.

Luxord crossed his arms over his chest. "Somehow, Xigbar, I don't really think the role of 'innocent bystander' fits you very well," he said sarcastically. "What'd you do to them?" Luxord was exasperated.

Demyx made a small whimpering sound and sat up, back propped against the door to the balcony, and rubbing his knee while holding his stomach. "I'll tell ya what happened… Sa­ïx, while I was sleeping ever so peacefully, came over and started stomping on me and kicking me!" he whined. "I didn't even do anything!"

"Dude, maybe it had to do with you singing **Liz Phair **to him last night," Xigbar said sarcastically.

Demyx crossed his arms, and pouted. "So? That was last night. I didn't do anything today," he said, not really understanding the concept of holding a grudge.

"Well, that explains why Demyx is in pain… But what about Sa­ïx?" Luxord asked no one in particular.

"Bastard kicked me in the stomach," Sa­ïx choked out, pointing to Xigbar, while still in pain from having his organs relocated to an area closer to his spinal cord.

"He had it coming," Xigbar explained to the blonde, crossing his arms. "He called me old. And he tried to get away from me when I was so graciously trying to save Demyx. What a jerk."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk…" Luxord scolded, suddenly becoming the voice of reason among the four of them. "Demyx, you should not have sung such a disturbing song to Sa­ïx last night. Sa­ïx, control your temper, and please don't kick Demyx; he has a fragile, petite bone structure, and he whines. Xigbar, you _are too _old," he said calmly, turning to each when he spoke to them. Xigbar started glaring at the blonde.

"I'm not that old! I told you in the first chapter of this story, my hair turned grey when I became a Nobody. And who says that you can tell us what to do? I'm Number II!"

"You're older than the rest of us, so that makes you old. And I can tell you all what to do, because I'm the most sane and sensible and mature one out of the four of us," he said smiling. "Now, you all should get ready to leave."

"Leave? Leave for where?" Demyx asked from his spot by the glass door.

"Leave for Castle Oblivion," Sa­ïx said, standing and not feeling so much like he had to toss his cookies anymore. "Xemnas said to be back as soon as we found these two," he said, indicating Numbers II and X. "We should have been back yesterday; and we should leave now."

"Fuck that shit, bitch," Xigbar said, sounding strangely gangster. "I'm not leaving until I get something from my favorite place in th--"

"You mean you want something from the adult theatre?" Luxord cut him off. "I don't think they sell anything other than tickets to their movies."

"No! Although…" Xigbar's voice trailed off and he had a far-off look in his eyes, then he was back to reality. "No, I mean I wanna get something from that one coffee shop."

"You don't mean the one from last night, do you?" Sa­ïx asked, all grrrr-like.

"Of course not. I **mean **Starbucks," he clarified. "It's just too bad that all the emo kids kill themselves at The Beehive instead of Starbucks, so we won't be seeing any action today, like we did last night." Xigbar sounded somewhat let down.

"You mean, we're just going to go to some coffee shop and then leave? We're not even going to have… breakfast?" Demyx whined, eyes tearing up.

"They sell food at Starbucks," Sa­ïx said, before getting up. "Fine, we'll go to your stupid coffee shop and then we'll go back to the castle." Xigbar patted him on the shoulder, smiling.

"I love it when I get my way. Not that you'd really have a choice of whether to listen to me or not, I am, after all, your superior _and_ I'm stronger than you," said Xigbar. Sa­ïx could be heard mumbling something along the lines of '…then why was the boss fight with me the last one before Xemnas, and you died before Luxord…' "Wha?"

Sa­ïx looked up and glared. "**Nothing.** Somebody just open a portal to Starbucks and let's get this over with," he sneered. Xigbar opened a portal to his 'favorite Starbucks in the whole, wide world' and they all stepped through, you know, not until after they all got ready to be seen in public without bed-head hair.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Unlike with the other portals, this one didn't end in an alley. It ended right in front of Starbucks, because Xigbar just doesn't care. And the pedestrians, being the pedestrians they are, didn't seem to care either; because they're from a big city and they've seen it all. This was a bit of a disappointment for Sa­ïx, though, since there were no homeless people for him to behead and take his rage out on. He'd have to hurt Demyx or Axel later, when they got back to Castle Oblivion.

To Sa­ïx's surprise, though, the portal also ended up in front of the Starbucks he'd been to before. You remember the chapter when he convinced that emo girl to kill herself, right? Yeah, same Starbucks. He followed the other three inside, nonetheless. Standing at the counter was an emo girl (who looked curiously like the girl that killed herself at The Beehive) who looked curiously like the girl that Sa­ïx told to kill herself before. The only difference was that her hair was a bit longer, blacker, and was messier, looking as if she hadn't washed (or brushed) it in weeks. She even had the same makeup as the last girl. Luxord and Xigbar studied the menu, while Demyx was busy making scuff marks on the floor for fun. Sa­ïx walked up to the counter.

"But, you killed yourself!" he said, loudly.

The girl at the counter, Shana (he saw, after looking at her nametag), gave a him weird expression. "Dude, what?"

"You were supposed to kill yourself last night," he told her more calmly than when he started. "I told you to do it, yesterday." Luxord and Xigbar looked at him, but Demyx remained creating scuff marks that were then in the shape of a smiley face.

She looked confused for a few more seconds, then understanding spread across her face. "O, I know what you're talking about! Yeah, the girl you told to kill herself did. Her name was Margarita; she hated her life, just like I do, and she finally got up the courage to take the cowardly way out of it and cut her wrists wide open. Yeah, she went down the highway instead of across the street." The girl nodded sagely. "She was supposed to be working right now; however, since she offed herself, they called me in to work, and told me all about it." The girl then looked pissed after her last sentence. Acting like someone killing themself was no big deal.

"O, well, that's good then," Sa­ïx said, blankly.

"Wait, hold up a sec here, you got some girl to do herself in, just like Demyx did?" Number II asked the blue-haired, elf-lookin' man. The latter nodded calmly. "Aw, Sa­ïx! I'm so proud of you! I always knew ya had it in ya."

"Of course I had it in me. I loathe 'emo kids'," Sa­ïx replied, saying 'emo kids' with an extra hint of disgust.

"Well, the murder of emo children aside, I'd really li--" Luxord started, but was cut off by Demyx.

"**O MY GAWD!**" he shrieked, while pointing at Shana. "**IT'S _SONNY MOORE_!**" he continued screaming, while backing up against the door. "Please, no! _Please_! I beg of you! _Don't make anymore **albums**_!" he begged, and slid to the floor, then curled up into the fetal position. His three _compadres_ just stared at him in mild shock.

"What the fuck?" the girl said.

"He's saying you look like Sonny Moore," another girl that worked there said, while walking out of the back room. She had short black and red hair, and did her makeup in just a way so that she looked like a skeleton.

"**O MY GAWD!**" he started screeched again. "Now it's **GERARD WAY **come to back him up!" he yelled, nearly in tears on the floor. "Why are they here? Why do they torture me so? _Why do they keep making music_?" he asked no one in particular, curling himself up into a tighter ball, before beginning to sob. Sa­ïx walked over and kicked him, all while telling him to get up.

"Hah! Now he's saying you look like Gerard Way, you stupid bitch!" Shana tittered to her co-worker.

"Fuck you."

"Quiet!" Shana said, and then spoke in a low voice. "Nobody's supposed to know about us… remember? My parents think I'm straight **and **a virgin…"

"Yeah, yeah. I know, but I don't care. Do you have four fathers? I don't think so. 'Cause there's only four guys in here that want their drinks or food or whatever, so we should take their orders! Hello gentleman, how may I help you?" she, Susan, asked in a suddenly sweet and polite tone.

Luxord and Xigbar both gave each other wide-eyed, weirded out looks and Sa­ïx just shook his head at the whole situation, while Demyx continued to cry on the floor. Shana went to filing her nails, and Susan had some type of freakish emo-Barbie smile plastered on her face.

"So, this situation… It's quite strange and awkward," Luxord finally spoke up. No one else said anything. "Um, we'll order in a moment, please. Thank you," he said politely (he's such a gentleman) before he went over and started talking to Demyx.

"Demyx, get up," he said, while bending down on one knee to talk to the sobbing blonde. "What's your problem?"

The younger Nobody looked up at him with glassy eyes and a puppy-dog look on his face. "Please, keep them away from me… tell them not to make anymore music……"

"None of us have any idea what you're talking about."

"It's **them**," he said in a whisper so small, Luxord could barely here it. "It's Sonny Moore and Gerard Way… they've come to torture me… As if they don't do it enough when I sleep…." Demyx's eyes became wide with fear. "Save me Luxord," he said, while gripping the elder's lapels.

Luxord removed The Melodious Nocturne's hands from his shirt and spoke. "Number IX, get a hold of yourself. You're in no danger. Those two are **not** named Sonny Moore and Gerard Way, they're named Shana and Susan. They are **not** going to torture you with, it was music, right? They are just lesbian lovers that cannot stand each other and sell over-priced cappuccino and coffee."

A look of understanding grew on the younger's face and he slowly stopped his crying. "Really?"

"Really. And, you know, I wouldn't save you even if you really needed it. I mean, after you jumping on me in the middle of the sidewalk and all, no. No, I wouldn't save you," Luxord assured him.

"You're a jerk," Demyx said, and made a sniffling noise. He still had a runny nose from all the crying. He and Luxord walked back over to the counter, where Sa­ïx and Xigbar were figuring out what they wanted, Shana was filing her nails, and Susan was sitting on a chair reading _Alternative Press Magazine_.

"So, is everyone ready to order?" Luxord asked, trying to sound cheerful. The two Nobodies that had been standing there for some time nodded.

Demyx whimpered. "I'll be damned to the fiery caverns of Hell before I order anything from Sonny or Gerard, there," he hissed at Luxord as he pointed to the two girls.

"Makes no difference to me. Yes, I'd like a French vanilla and mocha cappuccino," Luxord told Shana.

"Alrighty… You heard the man! Move, bitch!" she yelled at Susan, as she looked up apathetically from her magazine. "And you two? What would you like?"

"Double shot of caramel flavoring, wrapped inside of a orange mochiatti mixed into a passion fruit and tea smoothie, with a double scoop of tapioca pudding, accompanied by a red flavored snow cone," Xigbar said all in one breath. Shana nodded, and handed the order to Susan.

"The usual, honey," Shana said to Susan. "And you, Elrond? What would you like?"

Twitching slightly at being called 'Elrond', Sa­ïx sighed and then ordered. "Anything containing alcohol."

"We don't sell alcohol here!" she huffed, seemingly offended.

"A double-shot espresso, then… No… just… the strongest drink you have," he said, defeated. Shana nodded and told the order to Susan, who quickly fixed the drinks. They paid and walked outside the restaurant.

Luxord took a sip of his cappuccino. "That went better than expected," he said simply. The other three all gave him strange looks. "What? Sa­ïx could have ended up killing those two, like he did the other one. Or Demyx could have gone crazy instead of whiny and killed them. Or Xigbar could have ended up shooting them. Any number of things could have gone wrong," he explained to them, pointing to each when he talked about them. "Now, what were we doing?"

"Going to the castle. Xemnas wants you and Xigbar back," Sa­ïx told him, sounding a bit edgy. "And we _are_ leaving now."

"Whyyyyyyy?" Demyx whined.

"Yeah, c'mon, man. We're all having fun here. We _like_ it here. There's stuff to do, unlike at the castle," Xigbar said.

"Tell Xemnas your complaints. I'm not his complaint/suggestion box," Sa­ïx said before opening a portal leading to Castle Oblivion. "Walk through the portal, or I swear, if anyone protests, I will rip out their esophagus and sew it back in upside-down. Questions?" Sa­ïx's eye twitched, so the other three knew he was being serious.

"No complaints here!" Xigbar said, taking a drink of his 'drink' and quickly walking through.

"Yeah, I'm ready to leave!" Demyx said, smiling in a frightened way. Luxord said nothing, but laughed nervously and ran through the portal. Sa­ïx followed, stalking into it, and closed the portal on his way in. The time it took to get to Pittsburgh was about three and a half hours; the journey back took two. Luxord, Demyx, and Xigbar were all scared to death of Sa­ïx when he was in one of his moods, so they basically ran half of the way. Most of the Organization members said it was PMS, but it was constant. Axel just told them all that he only acted that way when Xemnas wouldn't put out, which was all the time, since he was too busy worrying about Kingdom Hearts. They all secretly loved to make fun of Xemnas. Sadly, Luxord, Xigbar, and Demyx all had a confrontation with the Superior when they all got back to Castle Oblivion.

- - -

And that's where I'm ending it for this chapter. I think the next one will be the last, and it may not be out until Thursday night. I gotta go to school tomorrow, 'cause I've got an appointment with the guidance councilor. Yes, it's because of my repressed feelings of hatred toward myself and everyone else. They might medicate me. Not really, it's 'cause I gotta fix my schedule for this year.

Review?

There may not be an epilogue like in _Missing Cards_. Depends if I have anything to type after that. Sigh. Whatever. Hope ya liked it, even if I didn't. It took me forever to finish. :D

Sonny Moore is from From First to Last (they irritate me) and Gerard Way is from My Chemical Romance (I can stand them, at least… Except for _Ghost of You_. I hate that song).

(Damn thing's not letting me put rulers in.)


	8. What Took You So Long?

This is the final chapter, and yes, I've decided there will be an epilogue, but it'll probably be short. I got my class schedule redone today and it sucks. I have to take freaking Yearbook now. Dammit. I _hate_ writing! Which is ironic, because I'm about to start writing (typing) in a minute here. No art class. (author pouts)

I have so fondly come to think of Sa­ïx as Control V, because I just paste his name instead of retyping it. Hah, losers, Sa­ïx has a nickname.

**EliasDeamonwing: **Support is always greatly appreciated. :D

**Fuhrer Allie:** When will you ever forgive poor-little-innocent Demyx for glomping Luxord before you? xD I couldn't help but name her that. I mean, she really does look like Sonny Moore; she doesn't wash her hair either. (Susan's real, too, but she doesn't actually look like Gerard Way.) Man, I wish I didn't know who he is. Just search him up on Google if ya get curious enough. You'll be scarred for life. He wasn't really touching him, just grabbing his shirt… Demyx grabbed Luxord's shirt before you did! Heck yes Starbucks is expensive (but good). Pretend away. xD Gimme those boxers back! They're mine! I wrote about them! Well, whatever. As long as I still have the cawds. You know, I had a friend tell me that one time because I have pastie skin (I said life was meaningless because I was pale, so he told me to do what you said). :D But it's not the full moon… that was last week. :P OMYGAWD! Not the steak!

**torrential: **I couldn't agree with you more. :D

**Song of Nephilim:** Thanks! Never really thought of Demyx as a problem child, but it works! (author graciously accepts kudos)

Don't own _Kingdom Hearts_, though I wish I did. **Characters will be partially out of character. **Still no rulers! Grr...

- - -

Luxord, Demyx, and Xigbar were all a few steps ahead of Sa­ïx on their way back to Castle Oblivion. Unlike last time, there was no time for cookie breaks for Demyx, because they were all too afraid of Sa­ïx to stop; as you read in the last chapter, Sa­ïx was in one of his moods. After the two hours it took them to reach the end of the portal thingy, the three Nobodies ran through, followed by a rather grumpy Sa­ïx.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

This time, the end of the portal the group came out of was in the lobby of Castle Oblivion. Out of the portal came Demyx, Luxord, and then Xigbar, all followed by a rather pissy-looking Sa­ïx. When they all exited, the first thing everyone (but Demyx, for he was scuffing up the floor again) noticed was Axel, sitting on a stool over by the snack machines… reading? That's silly! Axel never reads! Well, he does now, 'cause he's not a complete dumbass in this story, he's actually intelligent. So there. He looked up from his book (_Firestarter_ by Stephen King, and how cliché is that?), sighed, and stood up from his stool.

"You're finally back…" Number VIII stated. "What took you so long?"

Sa­ïx grunted. "These three were completely neglecting the mission, rather, _missions_," he began to explain, while emphasizing 'missions'. Xigbar rolled his eyes, Demyx continued to scuff the floor, and Luxord crossed his arms, all irritated by Sa­ïx blaming them for wanting to have fun on a mission for once. "They put me through karaoke… and _I _had to do Xigbar's mission, while they went and watched a movie!" he growled the last sentence.

"O, uh, yeah. That's interesting," Axel said to him, completely uninterested, then he turned his attention to the other three. "So! What movie was it?"

"We went to see _Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest_," Luxord stated.

"Damn you all. I wanted to see that," the redhead said, sorely. "So, how was it?"

"Well, the ending was a bit of a let do--" but Luxord got cut off, as Demyx suddenly turned his attention from his scuff marks to the current conversation.

"**DAVEY JONES was a NOBODY!**" he yelled. Sa­ïx elbowed him in the stomach, still irked about what the younger Nobody had done the night before.

"Shut'cher mouth, kid," Xigbar told him. "Sorry 'bout that, he did it in the theatre, too."

"Davey Jones wasn't a Nobody, he just didn't have a heart," Luxord explained.

Axel stared at the foursome. "O…kay…"

"Why were you just sitting there on the stool for, by the way? Waiting for something?" asked The Gambler of Fate.

"Yeah, in fact, I was," he started. "I was actually waiting for you four. Ya see, the Superior told me to wait here until you all got back. Needless to say, I was waiting awhile," the redhead said the last part with a bit of an edge. "But that's beside the point. The point is, that I was to wait here until you got back so I could point you all to the Altar of Naught, because Xemnas is waiting there for you (and looking at Kingdom Hearts, but that was a given). He wants to here your report," when he said the last word, he smirked a little. Most likely knowing that they didn't really compile a report or anything. "So, have fun with _that_, I'm gonna go play video games. Roxas got a new game, and I told him I wouldn't be his friend anymore if he didn't let me play," he smirked again and opened a portal, threw the stool and his book through, and then walked in.

There was a thick silence for about a minute, and then Xigbar broke it. "Well, fuck."

"This is terrible… I didn't compile a bloody report… I didn't push anyone into becoming a Heartless…. My success rate is going to go down!" Luxord said, beginning his worrying. He was actually a very worrisome Nobody when his mission success rate (and cawds) were at stake.

"Well, that's a bummer…" Demyx stated sullenly, then perked up. "Well, you guys have fun reporting to Xemnas. _I_ have to go get some peanut butter!" The young blonde started to walk away from the other three, but was suddenly pulled back by something as he started to walk off; he ended up falling on his back. Xigbar had grabbed his hood, and he continued to walk (and choke) while he was being pulled over.

"As if! You're stayin' right here, little guy. It was your responsibility to bring us back, so you're gonna take some of the heat, too!" Xigbar told him, looking down on him, as he was still lying on the floor.

"This is **so** not cool!" said the younger, as he crossed his arms and pouted, _still_ lying on the floor. Lying naked on the floor. Well, not really, the author just likes that song. Yes, I do. Don't judge me! Back to the story… Demyx got up from the floor and started brushing himself off.

"So, uh, I guess we should get started on walking, then?" Luxord said, sounding a bit nervous. He started to walk towards the front door before being yanked back (but not falling over) by Sa­ïx, who glared at him angrily.

"No. We're not walking. You're going to open up a portal, and _that's_ how we're going to get there," he snarled/threatened. Snarly-Threateny Sa­ïx, rawr. He released Luxord from his grip and glared at him. The aforementioned Nobody, brushed his shoulders off (pimp) and straightened his shirt before snapping and opening a portal.

"Happy?" he asked Sa­ïx.

"You know I can't be happy," he replied with a glare, before stalking through. The other three followed suit, all the while making naughty faces at Sa­ïx's back.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

The trip through the portal wasn't long at all. In fact, it only took about five minutes. When they arrived, they saw the Superior in _his _usual spot: across from the stairway, staring at Kingdom Hearts. He was always there, that is, when he wasn't plotting more ways to bring more Heartless to an area. But that's beside the point. Isn't it always? Upon hearing a portal open, Xemnas turned around, a small smile on his full, sensual, seductive lips. Just like in chapter two.

"Ah, so, you've finally returned," he said, sounding falsely glad. "What took you all so long?" He knew they didn't do anything, so he was going to give them all the sternest talking-to they've all ever had. He stifled giggles at his ingenious, evil plan.

Demyx spoke up first. "Car accident in Betwixt and Between." Luxord gave him a 'WTF?' look and Xigbar got a huge anime-style sweat drop on his forehead, while his eyes went all beady and his mouth hung open. Sa­ïx rolled his eyes. Xemnas crossed his arms and glared at Demyx.

"I'm sure… Who can really tell me why you two have been gone so long, and why it took a full day to bring you back?" the Superior asked.

Sa­ïx stepped forward and cleared his throat. "The reason we're all late is because of them." He pointed to Luxord, Xigbar, and Demyx (who was once again scuffing up the floor).

"I can only imagine why. Please, elaborate," the Superior waved him on with his right hand.

"This will be a long explanation. Might I suggest chairs?" Luxord told him.

"Yes, yes." Xemnas snapped and five creepers (those shape-shifty Nobodies) appeared and turned themselves into chairs, which the five Nobodies sat in. "Now, you were saying?" Sa­ïx nodded.

"This may take more than one paragraph… On the way to Pittsburgh, Demyx decided to be stubborn, and, instead of taking his mission seriously, he sat down to eat some _cookies_ and delayed our arrival."

"Hey! Don't blame me completely! You took part in eating that bag!" Demyx shrieked at him while pointing accusingly. Sa­ïx turned around to stare at him, causing Number IX to close his mouth, and then he continued.

"As I was saying, the cookies delayed our arrival. Then, we had to buy some clothes; our Organization robes didn't exactly fit in with the locals, which explains why we're wearing street clothing. After buying our clothes, Demyx delayed us even more, and brought too much attention to us, by riding on a child's toy-machine-thing." At this point, Demyx could be heard mumbling something about it being fun and how Bob the Builder rocked. "I had to pull him away from that distraction.'

"Outside we found Luxord and Xigbar. They were running some sort of gambling booth; of course, that's only to be expected from 'The Gambler of Fate'," he said, somewhat condescendingly while rolling his eyes.

"…least I don't have a retarded power like 'the moon' or whatever the Hell it is…" Luxord mumbled. Sa­ïx turned to him and raised his eyebrow, and Luxord only glared back at him.

"As I was saying, again, Demyx and I confronted the two about leaving, but they only protested. Saying that they didn't want to go home. They already had an apartment that they were living in."

"Ooo, shacking up?" Xemnas asked the two. It was supposed to be a joke, but they only glared at him, and he waved Sa­ïx on, again.

"Um, yes… Where was I? O, they didn't want to leave. I told them we had to, but they made up excuses and decided to see a movie instead--"

"O my gawd! What movie?" Xemnas asked, sounding eerily… giddy.

"We went to see _Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest_, and before Demyx can say anything, Davey Jones was **not** a Nobody," Luxord told him, glancing at Demyx out of the corner of his eye. He could tell the younger blonde was glaring at him with his arms crossed and pouting.

"Arrrr," Xigbar said for 'dramatic' effect.

"Ugh! No faaaaaaaair!" Xemnas huffed and crossed his arms. "You should have taken me to see it! Do you know how badly I wanted to go? I'm _such _a Johnny Depp fan!" he pouted.

"Umm… okay… We didn't think of it?" was Luxord's simple explanation/question.

"Ugh, whatever. Go on, Sa­ïx."

Sa­ïx stared blankly at the Superior, shocked at how much he had been reminded of a Barbie in the last few sentences, before continuing. "They went to see a movie, but _I_ carried out the mission! I went to Starbucks and got this emo girl to kill herself, since she was too weak to become a worthwhile Heartless. And I also looked around the world. When I got back to the apartment, they were playing some sort of stripping game."

"Strip Go Fish!" Xigbar said, overly-excited. "Yeah, we got Demyx down to his boxers, and he was taking them off when Sa­ïx walked in. We were gonna pass out the pictures of him naked to the other Organization members, but Sa­ïx ruined it. So we took pictures of the little guy cowering in his boxers on the balcony of the apartment. It was all really funny, in actuality." The eye-patch wearer nodded.

"Sounds more disturbing, than anything…" Xemnas said in an undertone.

"Ahem!" Sa­ïx basically yelled. "I was carrying out the mission and then came back to see Demyx stripping. I was ready to leave and come back here, but Luxord had the _wonderful _idea of going to a bar. We went, and Demyx got this girl to kill herself on-stage. He also sang a disturbing song to me. And then sang another song, after pushing some kid offstage and onto a coffee mug that shattered when he landed on it. The next morning I stomped Demyx into oblivion and Xigbar kicked me in the stomach, and then we went to Starbucks. Demyx had a panic attack because he thought these two girls were Sonny Moore and Gerard Way." When Sa­ïx finished the last sentence, Demyx whimpered, and Xemnas cringed at the mention of Sonny's name; he couldn't stand it when people didn't wash or brush their hair. "Then we came home. That's basically what happened."

Xemnas thought a moment. "That's an _interesting_ story. But, I'm slightly disappointed in you, Sa­ïx." Sa­ïx gasped at this. "Yes, I am. You didn't have to stay. You could've reported them all to me at once. Nice job killing that emo girl, though." He turned to Luxord. "I'm disappointed in you, too. You should have invited me to see that movie with you!"

"But the ending would have angered you, and you would have ended up destroying the theatre and killing everyone in it," Luxord told him, shrugging.

"Good enough explanation! Nice job coming up with the idea for Strip Go Fish (because I _know_ it was, by the way (because I _know_ that was you). I'm gonna have to play that with Larxene one of these days… Um--uh… As I was saying, Xigbar. You're Number II in Organization XIII. You could have ordered them all to come back to The World That Never Was! Why didn't you?"

"Uh… I had too much fun watching emo kids kill themselves at The Beehive every night?" Xigbar **asked **the Superior, as an answer.

"Also a good excuse. Demyx… you have no idea how proud I am of you," Xemnas said, turning to the youngest Nobody that was present. The said boy went wide-eyed and his jaw hung limply. Xemnas nodded. "Yes, I'm very proud of you. You killed two people! That's two hearts going to Kingdom Hearts! You _are_ maturing! You _are_ becoming more responsible!"

Sa­ïx was speechless by this point. He had no idea how all this had gone wrong. How could it go from him doing everything asked of him and the others disobeying orders, to him being scolded and Demyx being praised? "Um… Uh, Xemnas?" he said, as the Superior watched the other three take a portal back to Castle Oblivion.

"Yes, Sa­ïx?" he responded, waving happily (well, what would have been happily if he had a heart) to the three departing Nobodies.

"What… just happened?" he asked, utterly stunned.

"Demyx _sort of _completed a mission." There was a new smile on Xemnas's full, sensual, seductive lips.

"O…" Sa­ïx was speechless. Where was his praise? Where was his glory for bringing those three delinquents back to the castle?

"Well, what are you just standing around for?" the Superior turned to him and spoke with a renewed coldness. "Go get my latté **now**, Elrond!" Sa­ïx drooped as he opened a portal and walked through, off to get the Superior his latté. Xemnas then went back to staring at Kingdom Hearts, and he saw three little sparkly black hearts floating up towards the grouping. "O, those must be the ones Sa­ïx and Demyx killed… I'm so proud of that boy," he said fondly. As the three joined Kingdom Hearts, the whole of it started turning black; the shade originating from where the hearts joined. "What the fuck…?" he said slowly, then realization hit him as the darkness slowly spread across the giant floating heart thing. "They were emo kids' hearts! They're infecting the rest! **Holy razorblades!** They're turning it into… **_Emo_ Kingdom Hearts!**" Xemnas fainted on the spot. He wanted his heart back and everything, but he really didn't want to be whole again as an **EMO** kid.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Back at Castle Oblivion Luxord, Xigbar, and Demyx all sat in the den, watching a rerun of Xigbar's show, from the first chapter. Xigbar was sprawled lazily across the couch that was facing the television, smiling. Demyx slouched in an arm chair to the couch's right, and was eating peanut butter out of the jar using a spoon and laughing at the random stupidity that went on between the characters. Luxord was sitting diagonally (pointing towards the television) in the arm chair to the couch's left, and shuffling his cawds lazily, feet propped up on the end of the coffee table between the couch and the TV.

"We didn't get in trouble after all," he said, taking a cawd out of the deck, guessing what it was and getting it right.

"Yeah, that's some good stuff right there," Xigbar said, continuing to smile. "You guys up for going to the city anytime soon? If we get a break from missions and stuff?"

Luxord sighed. "Not me. Not for a little while, at least. I'd just like some peace for awhile. Being around Sa­ïx so much really got me nervous. That man is scary."

"Ah, whatever, man!" Number II turned to Demyx, who was currently licking peanut butter off of his teeth. "How 'bout you, kid?"

"Wheyt?" he asked, still trying to get the peanut butter off his teeth. After a few more seconds, he succeeded and answered. "Go to the city again?"

"Sure. We got nothin' better to do here," the elder Nobody shrugged. "I can show ya that theatre we talked about." He winked his good eye at Demyx, causing him to laugh.

"Nah. I've got stuff to do later. I gotta play this song to Marluxia! I wrote it especially for him! Well, I mean, I substituted his name in in places…" Demyx told them, summoning his sitar in the process and sitting up. "Yeah, I'm gonna go do that right now!" He smiled and then walked out of the den to look for Marly, leaving the peanut butter and his spoon on the coffee table.

"He's a weird kid."

"Yes he is. Pick a cawd, Xigbar." The mentioned Nobody reached and pulled a card out of the deck.

"Okay, Luxy. What's my card?"

Luxord looked to the side bored, and answered. "It's the eight of clubs."

"Of course you're right." They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the television. The end theme began playing just as the creatures in the cartoon discovered the bubble was alive. "So, Luxord. Ya wanna go down the canyon, across the valley, and through the forest of evil, evil trees to the Quikki Mart and get some ice cream, like old times?"

Luxord averted his eyes from the TV to Xigbar. "'Old times' was one time," he said smiling. He then put his cawds into his hood and stood up. "Yes. Let's go," said The Gambler of Fate, stretching.

"Go where?" asked a voice from the doorway. They looked over and saw Axel.

"Down the canyon, across the valley, and through the forest of evil, evil trees to the Quikki Mart to get some ice cream," Luxord answered.

"Then count me in! I love ice cream!" he said somewhat excitedly.

"'Kay then, let's get goin'," Xigbar said. And so, they set off to the front door and started their journey down the canyon, across the valley, and through the forest of evil, evil trees to the Quikki Mart.

- - -

Did you guys really think I'd finish a story before putting that in again? No, I hope not. This one might end at the Quikki Mart, too? OMG! Actually, maybe not. I'll just have to type up the epilogue to find out.

I can't wait to type the part about Demyx's song! Ah! This struck me today while watching TV! Maybe I'll make it into a one-shot? Hell if I know.

Review?

C'mon, it's the last actual _chapter_. You know you want to. :D The epilogue will hopefully be out before Monday. Probably not tomorrow, 'cause I'm going hiking. Heck yes I am. I also wanna draw… and I gotta do dishes. Hell, I don't know when. Hopefully by Friday night. So unsure of things.


	9. Epilogue: I'll Find Out Myself

I hiked today. And I ran. Ya know, instead of just walking along some trails, I **runned**. Surprisingly, my legs are not in pain, and it was about a two and a half mile hike, I ran about a mile. Yay!

**Takarifan101: **Accusation has two C's, but you were close. :D Yeah, he should; especially when Xigbar is so touchy about his age. Poor old man. Luxord is able to keep tidy because he's a British gentleman. (nods sagely) Aww, poor Axel. I don't think you have enough faith in him. I agree! I was actually eating peanut butter when I was typing that chapter, and I thought it might be something Demyx would eat. Thanks. Happy to know you liked the story so much:D

**Guavi:** I'm sorry. :D lmao I figured that part would make people laugh. It's one of the better parts of that chapter. It would be horrible to have my heart turned emo. I don't wanna be a Shana! If it's not in the epilogue, it'll be in a separate one-shot. It really all depends on how long the epi is before I write that part.

Special thanks to Fuhrer Allie, your reviews always made me laugh so hard. And to Guavi, too! Go check out her deviantART! It's got some good stuff and she needs to be recognized for it! And to Scylla Desdemonia Ophelia and Takarifan101. You guys took time out of your lives to review on many (or most) of the chapters and tell me what you liked about them. Thanks. And, another thank you to anyone else that read and enjoyed or laughed or reviewed or whatever. The reviews didn't really matter (but they were appreciated); just as long as the readers laughed.

Still don't own _Kingdom Hearts_ or anything related to it. **Out of characterness. **Axel just kind of struck me as a bit of a pervert, if you're wondering about the adult theatre and hooker thing. What's up with the rulers not working?

- - -

Xigbar, Luxord, and Axel had just ended their epic quest down the canyon, across the valley, and through the forest of evil, evil trees to the Quikki Mart. They were standing at the little ice cream shop thingy inside of it.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

"What can I get you?" asked the non-emo, average boy behind the counter of the little ice cream shop thingy.

"Hello. I'd just like a fat-free, sugar-free strawberry banana smoothie. Large size," The Gambler of Fate said. The non-emo, average boy nodded and gave the order to his (also non-emo) co-worker and she prepared the smoothie.

"Eh, I'll just have a scoop of vanilla in a sugar cone," Xigbar said, shrugging. The non-emo, average boy turned to Axel, waiting for his order after giving the cone order to his co-worker.

"Two scoops of strawberry ice cream with _real _strawberries in it, none of that artificially flavored crap, in a waffle cone, accompanied by an orange soda. Any questions? Got it memorized?" he asked (because that's the only line that people ever know by him), being his usual cocky self as the non-emo, average boy nodded and gave him a strange look, before giving the order to his co-worker. The food items were prepared within two minutes and the three Nobodies left to sit at the table that was occupied by 2/3 of them in the last story. As you can tell, the author does not feel like typing it all out. The table sat four people, so there was an empty chair. Luxord sat by Xigbar who sat by Axel.

"Again, I gotta wonder, how can you eat that crap?" Xigbar asked Luxord, as he watched the other enjoy his smoothie.

"It's not 'crap', it's just an acquired taste," the English gentleman replied before taking a drink of it. He looked at the redhead who was trying to lick the places where his ice cream dripped before it got onto his gloves. "You do know, Axel, that that ice cream _is _artificially flavored, right?"

Axel looked up and then started again with licking the running ice cream. "Yeah, I know. They cheated me outta my ice cream, in a way," he said, then licked the ice cream again. "But, hey, it's gotta be better than what you're drinking. At least it's got flavor to it."

Luxord mumbled something inaudible then took a drink of his smoothie. "So, why did you come with us, anyways? Shouldn't you be hanging out with Roxas or setting something ablaze?"

"Mm!" he sort of said, as he had ice cream in his mouth. "The only reason I came was because that little punk wouldn't let me play is new video game! Can you believe that? He said he didn't think I'd stop being his friend because of him not letting me play. The little bastard." Axel started to pout and took aggressive bites off the top of his ice cream. Luxord nodded in response and drank some of his smoothie. The three sat in silence for awhile, just eating or drinking what they bought. The mood was very mellow. Axel broke the silence. "So, how was that place you went? Are there any Heartless there or anything?"

"Well yeah. I mean, if you consider gangsters, lawyers, politicians, and dentists as being Heartless, then yeah, there were lots!" Xigbar informed him. "And the place was okay," he said a bit quicker and quieter. Double Q'd!

"O, ok--"

"He doesn't mean 'okay'. What he means is that he loved Pittsburgh," Luxord informed Axel. Xigbar raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Do not give me that look. You were at that adult theatre close to every night, you always went to Starbucks in the morning, and you rather enjoyed watching emo kids kill themselves nightly at The Beehive. So don't tell him you thought it was just 'okay'."

"Hey, I guess you're right!" Xigbar said after a few seconds of consideration of the thought. "I _did_ love it! Well, I mean, I can't really _love_ it, since I'm a Nobody and all. But I did _enjoy_ it!"

Axel looked at the two, stunned (sort of), and completely ignoring how his artificially flavored strawberry ice cream had run onto his gloved hand. "Did you say, _adult_ theatre?"

"Hell yeah! The apartment was right across a park from one! And there were adult book and video stores, too. And more theatres. And **hookers**! I never really paid one for anything, though… because, hey, they're diseased, man! I don't want anything. Because no matter what people tell ya, kids, Nobodies _do_ get diseases, so we do not fuck each other (or anything) senseless," Xigbar said, saying the last sentence like it was the moral of some story or something. "Don't wanna contract anything…"

"Back it up, you said hookers, right?" Axel asked, waiting for the elder Nobody to nod his head. "Wow, I _really _gotta get out more. The closest thing I've seen to a hooker anytime recently was Princess Jasmine, and she wouldn't go for me… And Larxene, of course… but that's beside the point! No way would I ever get anywhere with her… But I digress."

"It's best not to try to, either. Demyx did once and he got kicked down the stairs of the fourth floor, after getting hit in the shoulder and calf with kunai knives," Luxord said after a drink of his smoothie.

"Vi-o-lent!" said the redhead.

"Too true," Luxord said, polishing off his smoothie. "So, seeing as you two are done also, do you want to go back to Castle Oblivion?" The other two shrugged, so they made their journey from the Quikki Mart going through the forest of evil, evil trees, across the valley, and up the canyon. Backwards, bitch. Bet ya weren't expecting that.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

Wah, the epilogue sucks.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

In other news, the three Nobodies reached the front doors of Castle Oblivion and entered. Axel left them, saying something about going to bother Roxas into letting him play his new game, but before leaving, Luxord said he had a **new**, 'nice', little cawd game he wanted to show him later. Xigbar went to his room to make it more feng shui; that's important in being a member of Organization XIII and living in Castle Oblivion (that's one of the reasons why he went to night school). The last Nobody of the group, everybody's favorite gambler, Luxord, went to the den to watch television or play a game of solitaire.

Already occupying the TV was Xaldin, watching an educational program about the life of Beethoven on the History Channel. As he entered the den, he walked over to his usual spot (the left arm chair) and sat down. He pulled his cawds out of his hood and laid out a game of solitaire on the table, making **casual **conversation with Xaldin.

"Hello Number III," he said, **casually**.

"Number X," Xaldin said, nodding in his direction, acknowledging him.

"I see you're watching something about Beethoven; is he your favorite composer?" he asked.

"Yes, my favorite piece by him is _Für Elise_, (as the author mentioned in the fourth chapter of _Missing Cards)_," he replied.

"Ah, should have known," the blonde replied, flipping over a cawd, "it's what you're almost always playing on the piano, when I walk by your room(, and the author mentioned it in the fourth chapter of _Missing Cards_)."

"Yes, it's so beautiful. When I get my heart back, I plan to become a composer," the man said dreamily, then broke that mood. "Or work as a scientist again, at the least."

"It's a good dream," Luxord told him, moving some cawds about so that they were in order from King through two. "When I get my heart back I want to own a casino, or work at one. That way, I can play the gam…" he trailed off, spotting something pink and black, and sopping wet walk by the door way. "Bloody Hell…"

"What is it?" Xaldin asked, not really interested, and paying more attention to the television than anything.

"I'm pretty sure it was Marluxia," said Number X, as he put is cawds back into their box (with the blood stained fingerprint on the back and the blood droplets), then put it in his hood. He walked out of the room and looked down the hallway. Whatever (whoever) it was, was gone, but there were wet footprints, wet tracks (from where a cloak dragged on the floor), and water droplets on the marble indicating where it (he) went. Luxord ran down the hall, following the water, and being careful not to step in it and slip, and finally found what (who) he was looking for.

About ten feet ahead of him Marluxia stormed down the halls. His robe was soaked completely through, and his hair (usually a pale rose color) was now mauve (as in a darker pink).

"Marl--Marluxia? W--What happened?" he stammered, surprised at the 'wetness' of the flower god.

Said flower god turned around quickly with a scowl on his face. He stood up straight, leaning back slightly, and crossed his arms. "Maybe you should ask _Demyx_," he sneered, with a certain amount of loathing emphasis placed on the musician's name.

"Demyx?" Number X asked, and then started laughing. "He didn't play a song to you? He just soaked you with his sitar?" He laughed some more at the other's misfortune.

"No! He did play a song. It was… how should I say this? Degrading? Yes! Very!" The Graceful Assassin went on. "I asked him to stop, but, being the immature brat he is, he just kept playing! So, I had t--"

"You brought out your scythe, didn't you?"

A malicious smirk appeared on Marly's face as his eyes glimmered. "Yes… But then the little jacka--" he was cut off.

"No, don't tell me, I'll find out for myself…" Luxord told him, while smiling. He walked off and left Marluxia alone in the hallway, still pissed off and completely soaked.

**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**_x_**X**

**The End.**

- - -

"OMGWTF? That was the end?" Sort of. There'll be a one-shot out to finish it up. That's where you'll find out about the song. Wondering what the song is? O.O I'll give you a hint: _Hey There Marluxia_.

Review?

Yes, I know, the ending wasn't very good and it wasn't as amusing as the rest of the story. But that's whatcha get when you read something I typed when I was tired. The one-shot will be out by Monday, but no later, 'cause after that I've got school. Hopefully, I'll get it typed tomorrow. Sigh. I need a break from writing anyways. I'm gonna be doing enough of that during the school year. Advanced Placement European History _and_ Yearbook; do you know how much writing that entails? Lots.

Credit for politicians and dentists being heartless/Heartless goes to Guavi. Duh.


End file.
